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Sad and scared - Carers UK Forum

Sad and scared

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
I have spent most of my weekend trying to help my daughter, her psychosis has been really cruel.
I get so scared all the time.
I wish supported living was more readily available and of a good quality.
The times she has been in hospital or supported housing have been abusive and terrifying.
No easy answer but so hard to bear.
Ula
Hi Ula

I hope things are a bit easier for you today.
Thanks Charles
Your reply is like a candle lighting up a window in a dark village at night. Thanks

My daughter has reoccurring terrors PTSD and psychosis.
I am gradually helping her to become more independent and she is more accepting of medication and adult mental health team. She has been living alone for a year, so success as no recent hospital admissions.
Yes things have become less intense today, I need to accept the ups and the downs.
Are you a carer ?
I think you most likely understand as you have replied to me.
Hi Ula

I've been around caring since my sister was born over 60 years ago, and I can't remember a time when I wasn't in the caring world. For 21 years I worked at a Carers Centre in my area. I have two sons with autism (one is diagnosed, the other refuses to consider diagnosis and has additional mental health issues), and my wife had a spinal cord injury almost 8 years ago and has to use a wheelchair outside the house. My Mum is in a care home as she has dementia.

You can see why I understand the need to take care of yourself first! ;) ;)

One thing I used to do regularly with groups of carers was encourage them to look at their successes: most carers struggle with this because they see the struggle first. That's understandable, but it leads to depression. You've listed some of your successes in your post.

Your daughter is gaining independence. Think about the things she's learnt to manage for herself in the last year. Who manages her bills? Plans her meals? Cooks her food? Who taught her those things?
Your daughter avoiding hospital during that time is a huge achievement, and there's no doubt that you were very much a part of that success.

You've every right to be proud of yourself.

Wow

Dear Charles
I am deeply moved by your reply.
With your caring commitments I can appreciate you would not be able to give so much unless you looked after and resourced yourself.
The way you turn things around to acknowledge my successes and invite me to also do this, does outwit the feelings of hopelessness and depression.
It really helps to feel more empowered
Thank you for sharing your story and your advice.
You're welcome, Ula.

It's funny, really, that so many of us are really good at caring for others but we forget to care for ourselves.