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Pushing a huge rock - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

Pushing a huge rock

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
I think your ideas are brilliant jenny! The idea you gave me about suggesting my son lives independent for 5 days and coming home at weekends was inspired and has given me the confidence to have the conversation. Regarding the advice about bribing Mrs As son to go to counselling I admit that was my first thought too and I admit to having bribed my son in the past especially if the end result will benefit everybody. In an ideal world this shouldn't have to happen but as we all know we don't live in an ideal world ! I hope you manage to get your son the help he needs Mrs A as I think you deserve a break from caring x
Glad it helped! I think whatever the circumstances, 'leaving home' is always a 'big thing'.

I would say 'the deal' with your son is: 'You move out and find out how best to live independently, and after a month there'll be a 'reward', and you can come home at weekends and be 'fussed over' by me, but then go back to your flat for the following week'.

I think when they 'come home' there is a sort of 'back in time' aspect - WE fuss over them like little chicks and THEY wallow in it!!!! :) :)
I usually send M home with some favourite mum's cooking, he will go back with fish pie tomorrow, something his useless staff are incapable of doing. In a group home, something to share with your mates always goes down well.
BB - I do the same - I cook casseroles and so on and hand them over to my son when he sets off again! (He's a good cook, but busy busy, and I like to 'mother him' while I can :) )
With you...totally....we matter too, but my goodness, we are so far down the list. We can't fix everything and it's OK to feels frustrated sometimes and OK to say so....although, I am not very good at that myself.
I do know that we need to take time....breathe, even if we only have 5 minutes or less.
Even when it's too much and we have a moan, the strength will return, somehow.
Loving them gives us hope and strength.

Stay strong.