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PTSD - Carers UK Forum


For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
Hello, I am new to this forum. My husband has been living with PTSD for over 2 years now. He has been off work this time since before Christmas. I am getting the brunt of it this time, the Dr changed his meds and he is now becoming very intolerant towards both me and my daughters, not physical just verbally. He is incredibly moody since the meds change, sleeps most of the day if I don't make him get up ( I work so I am not in the house during the day). The last few days have been bad, its 3.30am and he is asleep on the sofa and I am seeking some sort of support as although I have a small but supportive family I am beginning to wonder what the hell to do! hopefully someone here has been through this, I am not sure where to turn to for advice.
Welcome to the forum. I'd suggest ringing the GP asap, explaining the detrimental effect they are having, and asking him to change the meds!
Yes indeed! Why did the doc change his meds anyway? Sometimes it can take quite a while to jiggle the meds and the dosage to get it 'just right' for an individual, a bit trial and error.

DO emphasise the severe toll it's taking on you and your family! That you CANNOT keep going if your husband remains the way he is now. Do stress that heavily - and repeatedly!

Also, what is happening on the therapy front? Is your husband having counselling for his PTSD (What set it off, do you know?). From what I understand, it's routine on the NHS for MH patients to be given meds first, to try and 'lift' them to a state where they are not 'on the floor' with their problems, and THEN to put them into counselling (as well as meds).

I do hop your husband has not turned down counselling. Until the root cause of his PTSD is addressed, meds alone - though giving him the vital ability to keep functioning at all - are really, only a crutch. He needs to heal, and that takes 'talking therapy' (even if he doesn't want it).

Do you feel he is making ANY effort for your sake and his daughter's? He MUST make 'some' effort, proportionate to his condition - he cannot allow himself to be so 'lost' to his own misery that he has no awareness or conscience about what his condition is doing to you.

There is, as you doubtless know only too well, a very fine line between 'supporting' someone through MH and 'enabling' them to continue with it unchallenged.

Wishing you all the best at a stressful time. How is his workplace reacting? Are they holding his job open, expecting him to return, or has it gone for good? How is he about it? How are your finances as a consequence of his being off work, etc etc. (Sorry, not prying, just that all these practical issues can make it so much worse to endure than 'just' having the MH to cope with!)
Hi Catherine. What is the root cause of the PTSD? Knowing and understanding that, may help others to connect, and point you in the right direction. There are many causes of PTSD, and without knowing the cause of your husband's issues, makes it difficult to give any form of advice. Naturally, if you don't wish to share that information, that's understandable. I would say however, PTSD is a psychological issue, and that GPs are not well placed when it comes to dealing with such matters. I'd suggest, at the very least, a referral to a specialist consultant.
I haven't experienced being a carer for someone with PTSD but I am a carer for my wife that has other mental health problems and I have had combat PTSD for 8 years and have had counselling, medication etc for it. Whilst I will never get rid of it I'm learning to live with it. so maybe I could be of some help? if so let me know.

all the best.