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Patient Confidentiality - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Patient Confidentiality

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
Dear Fiona - how incredibly distressing!

Break ups are NEVER easy, and when MH is involved, that's triply so. Still, please hang on to the fact that it has happened (ie, you don't have to instigate it any more, or have it 'done to you'), and now you can, as you are already doing, sorting out the resultant mess, prior to the 'moving on' phase which will come next.

I think it's probably best the decision your daughter has made to 'withdraw' from her dad at least for the time being. It gives her a bit of a 'respite' from all the emotional 'storm and stress' that she's been subjected to by his MH, and that can only be good.

Did you say that it was you and your daughter who left the family home, leaving your partner in possession/occupation? If so, then of course 'getting it back' is going to be a priority for you - without him in it! Or, conversely, getting divorce/legal separation proceedings underway to sort out the 'who owns what/who lives where' questions, all of which is going to be very very stressful and desperately upsetting.

It's horribly that your partner is blaming you for 'everything' even if you know that this is simply a very, very typical symptom of MH (seems to happen across all sorts of MH - doubtless due to 'deep' emotional/psycoligical 'logic'....eg, for my paranoid mother, everytign was the fault of the people 'spying on her' etc) (for those with depression, it can be 'their parents who didn't love them' etc)(not saying they aren't right, more that they use it as a 'reason' not to tackle their problems - easier to blame others...??)

So, with your partner, even though you know it is the MH doing the blaming, not 'him personally' of course it still hurts terribly. You know it's not true, but even so.....

Hoping things look a little clearer and calmer as you start to sort your way through this very, very difficult situation, kind regards Jenny
Hi Jenny thankyou for your kind words made me feel a lot better about some of the decisions I have had to make
with regards to myself and my daughters future.
I agree that I think it is for the best that my daughter has no contact with her father until he takes responsibility for his illness? if that ever happens I am not to sure he thinks he's well ???????
I beg to differ!!!!!

With regards to our home its very complicated and will be in the hands of my solicitor from next week, I don't want to move back into the property to many bad memories so it will have to be sold so myself and my daughter
can get our selves a little house so we can move on with our lives which sadly will be a long time down the line due to my ex partner making things very difficult for me :(

He's already moved on in his head its like we were never in a relationship which sometimes can be upsetting
and other times I'm really happy that I have escaped from his verbal and mental abuse he fired at me when he was and is in the manic phase of his illness .........I think I deserve better......

Onwards and upwards as they say.....

I have always valued the peace and tranquillity of my home. Never any arguments with my late husband, nor with my eldest son who lives with me. We can agree to differ, see each other's point of view, and then find a middle ground. Home should be where we retreat to when the world is a struggle. Not a warground!