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Separating the BPD from the person - Carers UK Forum

Separating the BPD from the person

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
Hello, I'm new here. My partner was diagnosed with Borderline Personality disorder which we suspected for years anyway but have finally had a diagnosis, which hopefully will help. Recently she's been speaking to me quite meanly, not always with what she is saying but the tone of her voice, even if I ask a yes or no question. It's making me wonder how to know whether someone with BPD's behaviour is due to the disorder or when they're just being a mean person. We have a diagnosis but so much is still a mystery. I know during her rages that the horrible things she says aren't meant, but when she talks to me like rubbish outside of those episodes (even in front of friends and family) I wonder if that's just how she is and how she will be.

I guess I'm trying to figure out whether after the DBT happens, if it does help with some of the behaviour, whether some is likely to remain. I have a long history with depression and some days I'm just not sure how much longer I can put up with the treatment I receive.
Liara wrote:
Thu Nov 14, 2019 3:31 pm
Hello, I'm new here. My partner was diagnosed with Borderline Personality disorder which we suspected for years anyway but have finally had a diagnosis, which hopefully will help. Recently she's been speaking to me quite meanly, not always with what she is saying but the tone of her voice, even if I ask a yes or no question. It's making me wonder how to know whether someone with BPD's behaviour is due to the disorder or when they're just being a mean person. We have a diagnosis but so much is still a mystery. I know during her rages that the horrible things she says aren't meant, but when she talks to me like rubbish outside of those episodes (even in front of friends and family) I wonder if that's just how she is and how she will be.

I guess I'm trying to figure out whether after the DBT happens, if it does help with some of the behaviour, whether some is likely to remain. I have a long history with depression and some days I'm just not sure how much longer I can put up with the treatment I receive.
Time for a needs assessment. Are you seeing a therapist or not? When was the last time you had me time?
thara_1910 wrote:
Thu Nov 14, 2019 5:34 pm
Time for a needs assessment. Are you seeing a therapist or not? When was the last time you had me time?
I'm not seeing anyone at the moment. I was for a while around a month or so ago, but you're only allowed a certain amount of sessions, and those sessions have come to a close.

I do regularly get me time a couple times a week, but we both work from home so are around each other a lot.