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Partner of someone with BPD - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Partner of someone with BPD

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
Hi, I also have a partner with BPD and am struggling too, feel free to message me and I might be able to help x
Hi. My wife has a diagnosis of BPD among various other personality disorder diagnoses and moderate depressive episode. She is also epileptic. I am her full time carer and find it hard to talk to anyone about the struggles because they don't understand, they just see she's playing up or being out of order, that it's just something that excuses her behaviour.
BPD is so misunderstood, and I know how hard it is when something you've said gets twisted or the way they respond is unkind.
My wife and I have been together for 4 and a half years and married for 18 months. It was tough when we were dating but living together and spending every day together is a whole different story.
She struggles to think about how she'd saying something and is very black and white. I feel like I'm always being criticised for something when she's simply just stating things such as "you've not washed up", "you left that box on the side", "you haven't put a wash on".
She lacks empathy and can't see things from my point of view. She doesn't recognise tone and will accuse me of having a hidden agenda or starting something. She's not used to having someone who cares so says I can be too much or suffocating but then wants me near her and gets clingy says I'm not thoughtful.
It's causing a lot of tension and where we barely talk because it'll end up in an argument or I'm always feeling like I'm making mistakes or making her feel worse, and then she gets upset because I'm moody or snappy.
I hope we can help each other, there is not enough support for families of people woth BPD.
Hi not a partner but I have a 32 year old daughter with BPD.
I can only tell you my experiance which is it is hell!

I don't know if your wife recognises that she has a problem. If not and does not seek help you are always going to be walking on eggshells. Sorry to say.

Best advise i can offer is set your boundaries and keep to them. You have to realise you are important and have to put your well being first sometimes.

Wishing you luck woth your situation and hopefully find tools and advise to help. Xx