Hi all, I look after my mother who has psychosis. She has been in hospital quite a few times now and had a long stay in a mental hospital around 15 years ago.

She has delusions which are very common now. But I am getting really confused with her as some of the things she talks about I am not sure are delusions any more. It is hard to talk to her about them as she is always being told by doctors and mental health that these things are not real... But what is some of them are?

She always thinks that she has something wrong with her. Some of these things I know 100% are not real... but some things I think could be.

A few years back she could hear things like a buzzing and she had a pain. She told the doctors and they said it was part of her psychosis. She would tell me all the time about it and about how the doctors do not believe her... Me, I believed the doctors. Now, years later after me talking to her old CPN and the doctor about how she is upset that no one believes her I made them look into it. It turns out that she had 2 holes in her ear drum and it was all true.

I feel really bad about this. I feel that I caused her pain and that I may have missed other things because of this. I feel I have been complacent in looking after her.

But on to now. I am so upset and stressed about her CPN (Or whatever they are called now) that I am not sure what I would say to her if I could talk to her now.

About a year ago my mother would not go out. She would not open letters or talk on the phone. She was told by her CPN that she should use this service that would get someone to take her out for a coffee and a chat. They would help her and talk about her and her issues. My mum said yes after us all telling her its a good idea. The lady seemed nice... They got along.
My mum trusted her and talked about herself and her past. She talked about about some personal things and the lady reported some of the things that were taken out of context to some officials. These things were reported to family members and caused BIG BIG problems for her and us.
After my mum found out my mother would not get out of bed for 2 weeks. She would not talk to anyone. She only got up to use the bathroom and to drink (Not eat).
Since then she has not been outside. She distrusts everyone. She wont go to the doctors and only sees her CPN because she is scared of them.She does not use phones and takes a long time to build up to opening letters.

Her CPN is meant to come every week... She books these days and then does not show up. No phone call, nothing. When she comes she stays for 15-30mins and after her visit my mum is upset and even worse. Today she was crying because she thinks her CPN is trying to get information on her (Which I agree with) about how they can stop her grandkids coming to see her. She is extremely scared about this. The CPN did not really talk to my mum about her issues and just asked questions which my mum then refused to answer.

She told my sister that she thinks they want her to kill herself as they do nothing but make her worse. She has taken overdoses to punish herself many times. She cuts herself and does many other things.

Sorry this is so long. I have missed many things... I am so stressed and upset myself that I think I am going mad. It is 3am and I have been up with her all night.

Years ago her CPNs were great. Now it seems that they cause my mother so many problems that she would be much better off without them! I see no use in them at all.

I will post another topic on one other BIG problem that I am lost with. I hope I posted this in the correct place. If not, please move it.