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Waiting for 2nd admission .... - Carers UK Forum

Waiting for 2nd admission ....

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
Hi all,

My 14 year old daughter who has battled self harm, depression, possible bi polar and borderline personality disorder, being admitted to MH unit again tomorrow. The last time she was in for 4 months, she hasnt eaten since Saturday and that was only 120 calories, with only 50 calories on Friday, and less than 200 calories a day for some time. She is skinny, pale and weak.

I realise that I can no longer give her the help she needs, I am trying not to feel that I have failed as her mum and her carer. I am going to miss her so much, I am dreading her going again. I harp on and on about how draining it is to care for a depressed person who will not help themselves or find a reason to live, day to day it is very draining. But I spend every day with her, she hasnt been to school for nearly a year, and now suddenly I am going to be without her, I am hurting so very very much right now, I cannot understand how we got here ... I just want to make it all better ...

My husband works away and my other 12 year old daughter will suffer, she is selective mute and had a hard time last time, trying to cut herself on occasion, so I know I have to step up but who looks after me?

Sorry guys I just needed to vent a little, and I may use this as my venting post if no one minds?

Thanks x
(((HUGS)))) Helen. Many of us here will, in different situations, have faced the fact that our loved ones need special care which sadly we simply cannot give. All we can hope is that by letting them go, they will be getting the care which they desperately need. It doesn't mean that we don't love them, that we have let them down, it means they are ill. You cannot hold yourself responsible for your daughter's illness, any more than I am responsible for my son's auburn hair! The waiting must be awful, try to think of little things you can pack in your daughter's suitcase to remind her of home, perhaps a favourite magazine, perfume, photo of you. And yes, of course you can "vent" here, whenever you feel the need. We all need a helping hand at times.
Helen if she had a broken leg you would not feel a failure because she need hospital treatment and mental illness is no different thinking of you and your daughter at this difficult time hugs
julie
Thank you both very much for the encouragement and perspective which we tend to lose a little when we are emotionally / mentally exhausted. My daughter is sleeping now which means we can both get a little rest for our challenging day tomorrow, I'm hoping the chosen unit isn't too far away, one she has been in was 90 mins drive away, but the other one was only a 15 min drive away ... strange how you focus on these small things.

Thanks again x
Feel free to vent as much as you like and to ask for all the help we can give you, practical and emotional, though sadly not physical.
We can all do with a real ((((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))) at times.
Illness is illness, mental or physical and as much as we want to we can't cure it and much as we like to beat ourselves up with carer guilt, we aren't at fault and nor are we failures.
But what the head knows the heart doesn't always accept.
((((((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))))
Hi all, well its been a long long week!

My daughter was admitted last week to MH unit and on admission they decided she was too unwell physically and that they would spend the night trying to get fluids into her. She refused to drink so they had to take her to A&E.

She still refused to eat or drink and said she just wanted to die. All tests carried out and her kidneys werent functioning, her heart was low, bp low, etc , blood sugars indicated imminent coma, basically her body was desperate for some fluids and sugars. She was given the choice to either have a glucose drip or be sedated/restrained and have the glucose drip. she gave in and spent the night on the childrens ward. She was returned to the MH unit the next day.

It has been a very up and down since then, but where we are at now is; she is eating 3 tiny meals and 3 snacks per day as pre arranged in a menu plan with dietician. Her anxiety levels are high. Her antipsychotics have been increased with twice daily clomazepan. she is on 24/7 constant one to one observation, and today kicked off over the food and had to be restrained, somehow she has managed to hurt herself on various parts of her body.

Its been a long and tiring week.

Im uncomfortably numb Image

x
It sounds like they absolutely admitted her in the nick of time, well done for being persistent when many others would not have done. I can't imagine how worried you are, can only send you a virtual (((HUG))) but you deserve far, far more.
I hope this is the beginning of the journey to a full recovery. This is such a scary situation.
(((((((hugs))))))) Helen - at least she is in the right place
Try and be gentle with yourself and recharge your batteries a bit by relaxing when you can.
hugs hoe your daughter is feeling better soon