Sorry to hear there's been another 'dip'. I suspect that 'rushing' (ie, precise time frames/limits') might feel 'threatening' to him??? Or a 'control' issue maybe? or just 'challenging' you? (Sorry I'm only chucking in 'possible possibles' from a very lay point of view.....)
But on the bigger issue of the meltdown and phone smashing and door damage, I agree with Melly that it sounds GOOD that (a) he got himself to A and E and (b) he's worrying he might be chucked out. That DOES show signs of responsibility and 'reasonableness' (ie, seeing the world as the mass of the population see it), so that must surely be good.
I quite agree he needs to report the damage, apologise and make plans to restitute. I dare say, though, that, to be honest, they are quite used to 'erratic' behaviour, especially perhaps at the outset of a new resident getting used to more independent living, and hopefully it is a 'one off'.
I DO hope things can head 'upwards' overall, even if there a slips and dips along the way. It's a new journey for him, and, as I say, living independently is daunting for ANY young adult, let alone one who has such challenges in his life because of his fragile mental state.
It's great your ex rose to the occasion, and perhaps that could be come a habit now for him??!! Do hope so.
Hope today is easier and less fretful and fearful for you - kindest wishes as ever, Jenny
PS - glad he's got his music back! It does seem to be a vitally important part of their lives!!!!