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How do you support ex when paranoia is directed at you - Carers UK Forum

How do you support ex when paranoia is directed at you

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
I have recently split with my partner of 10 years following a mental health crisis seemingly brought on by drug use. My ex stormed into our home in the early hours one morning accusing me of having an affair, saying he had just seen me with someone else. It then turned out that he has installed a camera to spy on me and left a recording device in our bedroom. He began ransacking the flat claiming I’d hidden a phone. I had to call the police as our son was terrified and I just couldn’t calm my partner down. He later confessed to having taken a large amount of cocaine. He went to stay with family in the North East and we haven’t seen him for almost two months. I had been trying my best to support him for many years with impulsive behaviours, gambling and debt and more recent since losing his dad, depression and grief. I encouraged him to see a dr and earlier this year he began taking antidepressants and having counselling. He then suddenly stopped it all after 3 months . Unfortunately it seems that the drug use has sparked off paranoid and delusional beliefs that I’ve been having an affair, have hacked his phone, have had him followed whilst he admits to having gone through my phone, online banking, has managed to get into my emails accounts twice and despite my trying to reassure him that an affair has never taken place, nearly two months on he is still claiming that he has recorded conversations of me with someone else, he sends me the recordings which are of course blank, but says I’m setting him up and he’s not unwell, that he can hear voices on these recordings. It’s terrifying for both of us I’m sure but we have a 7 year old son who desparately misses his Dad and I was hopeful that, even from a distance, I could support him in getting the help he needs in order for him to have visits with our son and maintain a good relationship, however I’m finding it so difficult to deal with the abusive messages and threats being made to me when he seems to be having a bad day. He says is currently under a crisis team, on a higher dose of sertraline and says he is having CBT therapy. I don’t know what I can do when the delusional thoughts are directly aimed at me and so nasty and aggressive?
Hi, @Katy_2108 and thanks for using our forum to reach out for some support. Some of the concerns you have raised are serious and we share your concern about the situation. I’m going to send you a private message with some pointers.