Mum has mental health issues

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
My mum is 74. She was on medication for mental health issues since 2013. We thought she had this due to being in extreme pain ( she needed both hips replaced as they were both badly worn down). 4yrs on my mum decided to come off her medication a few weeks before Christmas with the doctors help as she had both hips replaced and wasn't in any pain. But the nasty thoughts came bk and she is now constantly washing her hands. Every 5mins or less she is by the sink for 10mins just washing her hands in cold water. I live with my mother with my 4 children and im so stressed with it all. I basically don't know what to do to help. I can be all calm and try to encourage her to do something else instead. Even tried telling her that her hands are clean but after a few hours the sound of running water gets to me and because she won't listen to stop I end up raising my voice and then I feel so down cause I've shouted at her even tho I apologize to her. I realize I'm also effected by what is going on. I understand that she washes her hands to get rid of her nasty thoughts but i really dont know what to do. She went bk on her meds the end of Dec and I'm sure they should have made her feel better. I don't know how I coped last time as it went on for months but last time i suppose I wasn't working. This time im doing 3 nights aweek and work at a school dinner time. I could go on and on writing this but thought i would make it short. Does anyine know what I can do and how can I cope please.
Good Evening Sharon
Can I ask what is wrong with mom? Its difficult when a close family member is Iill. It's so upsetting to have to witness. I'm not experienced in Mental health, just my own experience living and helping a loved one suffering a mental health illness. This is a excellent forum with helpful people offering words of support, someone with a clearer understanding of your mom's illness may come along to offer you the best advice. In the meantime feel free to message, even for just a chat
Christine
Have you seen your/her GP about this? I would say you/your mum needs a referral to a specialist in obsessive behaviour.

Something is causing this, and it may be the effect of the meds, and coming off, going back on, etc. Or may be something like dementia has set in??

Apart from this obsessive behaviour, what is your mum like? Is she 'rational' otherwise?
I have taken my mum to G.P and he said because she stopped then started the tablets she is probably having bad side effects which will get better after a few months. I took her to see a psychiatrist last week but my mum just kept asking for a tablet that she can have that will work straight away. She ended up begging for this one tablet which was so distressing for me.
Her nasty thoughts seem to change. One thought has been ripping mine and my 8yrs daughter's heart out :( another has been a randam number pops into her head then she thinks of someone that age and thats the person she wants to hurt. She use to go to my uncle's house on a tues afternoon but refuses to go since 3wks before Christmas she used to go shopping on a Thursday all day with her friend but refuses to go since 3wks before Christmas. All she does is wash her hands or lay on the bed. She hates me working but i have to to pay bills etc. I give up my job once 11yrs ago to look after her and it really made my depression worse. I want my mum back this is so hard
Good Morning Sharon
That is very concerning to hear those thoughts your mother is having, more so directed at your young daughter. There is a safe guarding issue here that needs urgent addressing. This is a unhealthy environment for your children and for yourself. As I said I am not qualified in any way I am just speaking as a mother myself whose child has a father with a mental health illness. Although she may never carry out these thoughts it is disturbing in its vocal form. I appreciate she is your mother but the safety of yourself and your children is paramount. Is she still under the care of the mental health authorities? I think you need to contact them as soon as possible to inform them of the situation
Christine
I take my mother to the doctor every week to be checked. The mental health is involved we had an appointment last week but it was just an assessment. My mum just begged them for a tablet. I phoned the hospital yesterday and i found out she's been referred to the mental health consultant at the hospital so got to ring them again mon. The doctor said that these thoughts shes been having are just thoughts that pop into her head and she probably wouldnt react on them. I work with the elderly and know all about safegarding and i would never put any of my kids in a situation of danger
This sounds like psychosis. I think she needs treatment for it. Not in your home, either.

As for this 'tablet'- get the doctor to prescribe some 'vitamins' or whatever, it doesn't matter what. Just to act as a placebo. If it helps calm her, what on earth is the objection!

Personally, I would get mum admitted to hospital, preferably a psychiatric ward. You may have to struggle to achieve this. Remember, she has no legal right to live in your home.

I know you love her, but this is serious!
It's my mother and my brother's house i moved in with her 8yrs ago to look after her before she had her hips replaced. She's taking amisulpride and sertraline. It's been a month and was hoping the tablets would have clicked in by now. When my mother was 18yrs she had a breakdown and was sectioned for 5mths. In those days they didn't know about mental health like they do know so im thinking they must have sedated her so she thinks that one tablet helped her not realising they probably gave her alot of tablets over the 5mths she was in.
Does mum own or rent the house? Do you have a home elsewhere?