Mother (parent) with bipolar disorder who is abusive

[Rosie_2005]

Hi, my mum has bipolar disorder and it has been mostly manageable until nearly 3 years ago when my little brother died in a tragic car accident. After that her bipolar escalated and has been extreme ever since. She has roughly 3 weeks of mania and about 2 weeks of deep depression, when she is happy she is very energetic very involved in my life wants to do things together constantly laughing and doing lots of cleaning etc, but when she is depressed she will stay in bed for weeks and the worst part of it is when she turns on me. It's a gradual thing each day she becomes less friendly more irritated and moody to the point where she is slamming doors screaming and swearing at me locking me out of the house whispering insults outside my bedroom door calling me names and desperately trying to start arguments with me. A few days ago she barricaded herself in her bedroom and didnt come out for days and every now and again she screamed at me when she herd me coming up the stairs and I was so worried I called a doctor and asked for advice. They said they would call me back but instead of calling me they called my mum. After the call she was furious and came into my bedroom and tried to throw a heavy glass bin at me which I managed to stop her, then she jumped on me and started hitting me. I have a 2year old son living here and I cannot cope anymore, she is undiagnosed and refuses to seek help when I try to talk to her she turns nasty and says it's me who needs help. The rest of the family don't realise how severe she is and do not support me. I am stuck here untill after lockdown as my house is sold and waiting to be able to move into a new place. Does anyone have any advice as to what I can do in the meantime because shes physically and mentally abusing me and I'm finding it so hard especially with looking after my son too. I desperately want her to seek help and have some support. I have tried to help by calling a doctor and I made the situation a million times worse. Thanks x

[bowlingbun]

Film or record her abuse. Then ring Social Services.

[Jane Carers UK]

Hi Rosie welcome to the forum

I'm sorry you're going through this with your Mother, it sounds very difficult and upsetting for you. There is help and support available for both of you and action you can take. Our Carer Support team will contact you shortly with a private message. (You can see your private messages by clicking on 'private messages' which is at the top right of the screen)

Best wishes

Jane

[Kerry_20041]

Hi Rosie, I really hope you have managed to get some help and have been in contact with mental health teams. Please don't feel like there is no help and support, it can be very frustrating when it seems doctors don't understand and make things worse when you are reaching out and having to do it secretly. Hopefully things can get better for you all with the right support

[Jas_1809]

Hi Rosie,

My mother was exactly the same last year and did the same things to me. I don't have any children so I can only imagine the turmoil you are experiencing.

Are you aware of the local mental health team in your area? If not, try this https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/menta ... h-helpline
You should be able to get some information from your GP as well and make it clear to them that should call your phone and not your mother's.

In my situation, my mother was sectioned three times because she was in complete denial of what was happening to her, was conssitently violent towards me (to the point she made me homeless) until eventually she accepted help and was officially diagnosed with Complex Bipolar Disorder. She's been put on medication and things were manageable but she's started hearing voices again and all she does is scream at them all day. It's hard trying to provide support and empathise but on the other hand, you just wish you can shake them out of it right?

I want you to know that you're not alone, I know know exactly what you're going through and there is support out there, these things are really a trial and error process but you'll get there. If you ever need to talk, my inbox is always open.

Really do hope things work out for you and your family Rosie. All the best x

[bowlingbun]

Time for you to record her verbal abuse, when it's safe to do so. As you have sold your house I'd say just move out, under normal circumstances. Are you going to buy another house, or rent?