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Mental health meltdown - Page 5 - Carers UK Forum

Mental health meltdown

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
108 posts
Well the session with the psychiatrist apparently went well. No new diagnosis as to be expected from the first visit. She changed his anxiety medication and gave him a short course of sleeping tablets. She did say not to rule out Bi Polar but she needs a few more sessions before she could diagnose. As I thought he told her he wasn't going to delve too much into his childhood because he didn't see it as relevant. Talking therapy will be commencing soon so hopefully he will be on the way to feeling better in the near future. That's the update at the moment
That sounds not bad. Let's see what the new meds achieve. As for bipolar, hmm.

The key thing to my mind is that he couldn't have run up a clearer warning flag to her than telling her his childhood experiences weren't relative!

Now she knows EXACTY where to look for the skeletons. Hurrah!
Hi Jenny
Yes I'm hoping he has unknowingly given her the insight by just that statement. It clearly is a important factor. I am speechless at times with his opinions but I guess some of these connect with his troubled childhood. His latest opinion is that I am responsible for his very recent meltdown. I didn't dignify it with any response. I have only tried to help the best way I know how. All women want power over men and the best ammunition we possess to do this is our children. Again I gave no response, I'm angry because I would never use my child as emotional ammunition. I assess the situation on a almost daily basis ,it depends on how dad is ....I will not expose his young mind to anything that will upset him and sometimes if dad is having a bad day I feel it is better to shield our son. Maybe this is not the right way but I do what I feel is right, I certainly do not use my child as ammunition, nor do I taint his view of dad. Sorry for the rant
"All women want power over men and the best ammunition we possess to do this is our children"

For 'all women' read 'my mother' and the 'our children' is him and his siblings.

Also, possibly, the man she wanted power over was her husband, your father? Was 'taking his daughter away from him' a way of 'punishing him'? That might be in his dystopic narrative as well, that he and his brother weren't his mother's only victims, it might have been his deserted dad as well, who also lost a daughter he wanted?

Either way, 'rant away'! You know is it the creation of his distorted mind, nothing more than that. And that it is not about YOU, it is about his mother.....
It's an incredibly sad view of women, no wonder you have had problems. In a way it's surprising he ever got married or had kids. You could see this as a compliment to you personally, that the views were over ridden by his love for you? However his illness has sent him backwards. All incredibly sad that you still care for him and he's pushed you away.
Saddest of all to my mind is that this issue wasn't addressed right from the off, once he'd grown up, as in, left his home. It's been festering all his life.

Maybe every 20 year old should have a mandatory psychiatric appointment to identify any childhood traumas that the young adult is about to carry with them into their adult lives, to wreck their own life, and so often that of their spouse and children.

I'm actually suggesting that quite seriously! Some of us know that we had 'screwed up childhoods' (I did, and I knew it!), and that gives us the ability to recognise that we are going to have 'issues to resolve' whether through counselling or just by addressing them in a DIY fashion (I did the latter!)(personaly, I think with pretty much 90% success!) (I hope!), but SO many people, including your ex, simply seem to be 'blinded' about what went wrong in their childhood.

'Know thyself' surely has to be the first thing we learn as we become adults.....
Thank you Jenny & Bowlingbun
I totally agree regarding having a mental health assessment, too many people suffer in silence. I will always care for him and only want to see him get better. I was disappointed in his comments regarding me being responsible for his recent mental health meltdown. I am one of only two people that support him,apart from professionals. I have been in touch with his daughter, his other support network and let her know I am stepping back. His world is pretty dark most days and I understand his illness affects him a great deal but it also affects the people close and I really feel out of my depth. He also has to learn to take responsibility for his actions because he is fully aware how his behavior affects others. His illness does impact his day to day life but its almost as if he just accepts this and does little to help himself. I help him because that's in my nature to do so,but even I get stressed with it all. I'm looking forward to starting my course in March, this is for me....its terribly sad he has the opinion of women that he has, this I believe is another main factor I feel needs addressing.
I do think he's had his 'fair share' of your time and attention. The trouble with MH is that those with it can become total 'vampires', sucking the life blood out of everyone else. Like drowning men, they cling to their rescuers and drown them too.

It's a monster, MH, that swallows up not just the patient, but anyone who goes near them.

You've done your bit - time to get your own life back.

As you -and all of us here - are saying - until HE takes responsibility, no 'outside help' can make him 'better'. Only HE can make himself better.

Hope the psych sessions continue to prod him in this direction - ie, facing up to why he is as he is, draining out the 'emotional pus' that has accumulated since he was 10 years old and his mother abandoned and rejected him, and then 'remaking' himself in a healthy and life-affirming way.
Good Morning
A update on how my ex partner is doing. The new medication prescribed by the psychiatrist is fantastic. She told him they would be fast acting and he should begin to feel the benefits after only a week unlike some of the other meds he had previously had. The difference is unbelievable, he describes it as his mind suddenly becoming less busy,not constantly racing and he is waking up without the dark cloud that previously constantly overwhelmed him. I cannot believe the difference... He still has a long way to go but he's beginning to see positivity. It's taken three years and a complete mental health meltdown to arrive at this point. He will still be having psychiatrist sessions and she is going to out him into talking therapy soon. Im haooynow in the knowledge he's making progress no matter how small
Brilliant! Lots of {{{hugs}}} and hope for a much improved situation, for both of you.
108 posts