Interesting question should you tell someone when they have been mentally ill how their behaviour affected you. Would we tell someone with a physical illness how they made us feel? My husband and i are close so i know how my mental health effects him and i ask him so i can limit that when im unwell. But i think for most people it is not the way to go. You either know anyway or you lack insight so it would make no difference. Just like someone with a physical illness isnt daft and know how emotionally draining etc their illness is on the carer. I cant see the point in it really. I think really its about feeling angry and resentful at someone if we bring it up perfectly healthy and normal responses but not actually useful to the situation. No one has to care for anyone either with a physical or mental illness and there is no shame in feeling that you are not able to do that we are only human afterall. And it may be in some cases that the right thing to do for yourself is not to be a carer because you are allowed to lead your own life and be ok with that decision.