Hi all,
I'm new here, I didn't know where else to turn right now. I'm still not sure how much I count myself as a carer, but I've been told I am so.. I hope this is okay.
My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years. We're currently long distance as I had to move a few hour's drive away due to illness in my family. I'm now training to be a nurse (finishing in November) and planning on moving back to where he is, and moving in with him, in the house he bought last August.
He's had depression since he was a teenager (he's 31 now), but for the last few years, he's been well, he even got off medication about 3 years ago.
In October, he started getting bad anxiety attacks. He had to stop work in November. He's not worked since. He did go straight to the doctor, and they've been trying various meds, and he's just started CBT. He's okay financially until May or so, but obviously he's worried about the mortgage if he can't work after then. I've said I'll find a way to pay it, but it's a worry.
When he gets bad, he shuts me out. I go down about once a month, but it's hard to go more often as I'm so busy with uni (i also help look after my dad, who is disabled following a stroke) . The last week has been awful, we've barely spoken. He thinks he partly does it because it makes it easier to cope with missing me, which almost makes it worse...
I just feel so helpless. I'm too far away to do the easy things like make sure he eats, or do the shopping. I just worry all the time, and it's beginning to really get me down.
I don't even know what I'm looking for. I just feel lost, fed up, helpless. I also find myself getting angry with him at times.. I don't tell him that, but it makes me feel so guilty. I know he's not trying to hurt me on purpose. I feel like my feelings are so insignificant compared to what he's going through.
Sorry for the long rant. I just don't know where to turn. I'm pretty sure my friends are sick of this, I'm starting to avoid talking to people about it.
Thanks for listening.
I'm new here, I didn't know where else to turn right now. I'm still not sure how much I count myself as a carer, but I've been told I am so.. I hope this is okay.
My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years. We're currently long distance as I had to move a few hour's drive away due to illness in my family. I'm now training to be a nurse (finishing in November) and planning on moving back to where he is, and moving in with him, in the house he bought last August.
He's had depression since he was a teenager (he's 31 now), but for the last few years, he's been well, he even got off medication about 3 years ago.
In October, he started getting bad anxiety attacks. He had to stop work in November. He's not worked since. He did go straight to the doctor, and they've been trying various meds, and he's just started CBT. He's okay financially until May or so, but obviously he's worried about the mortgage if he can't work after then. I've said I'll find a way to pay it, but it's a worry.
When he gets bad, he shuts me out. I go down about once a month, but it's hard to go more often as I'm so busy with uni (i also help look after my dad, who is disabled following a stroke) . The last week has been awful, we've barely spoken. He thinks he partly does it because it makes it easier to cope with missing me, which almost makes it worse...
I just feel so helpless. I'm too far away to do the easy things like make sure he eats, or do the shopping. I just worry all the time, and it's beginning to really get me down.
I don't even know what I'm looking for. I just feel lost, fed up, helpless. I also find myself getting angry with him at times.. I don't tell him that, but it makes me feel so guilty. I know he's not trying to hurt me on purpose. I feel like my feelings are so insignificant compared to what he's going through.
Sorry for the long rant. I just don't know where to turn. I'm pretty sure my friends are sick of this, I'm starting to avoid talking to people about it.
Thanks for listening.