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Don't know what is wrong with me - Carers UK Forum

Don't know what is wrong with me

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
Hi

Sometimes i feel like things are reaching a fever pitch for me. I’ve been painfully self aware my entire life and fearful of judgement. This led me to develop a very introverted, weird personality. I can fake it and get along with anyone, I have basic nice social skills, but there is nothing going on behind the curtains. My brain feels fried, empty, dull the majority of the time. I have no job. No future. This makes me perpetually afraid of being “found out” so i have intense avoidant tendencies. I’m funny, I'm empathetic, I like flirting and being in a relationship with someone but I ruin every relationship i have because at a certain point I'm just deeply boring and insecure about it. I’d probably just hang out alone watching tv and going on walks forever since I’ve already written off most normal people things as “not for me”. I am recently realizing I cannot feel true intimate love with someone else because I don’t know who I am- at most I admire them and like the attention and how they make me feel. I can’t “talk for hours” with anyone. I couldn’t even write a short bio of myself. I have no passions, goals, hopes or dreams. I hate my self and my life.
Hi Dennis,

It might just be that caring has used up all your genuine empathy and exhausted your emotional capacity.

Are you on meds? They might be altering how you feel and function. Don't stop taking them without medical advice.

Please find someone to talk to - a counsellor or mental health professional, to help you make sense of all this.

Melly1