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Carers UK Forum • Im new and really need some help
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Im new and really need some help

Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2021 11:56 am
by Debbie_2110123
Hello everyone. I have cptsd, me, diabetes and bpd and i keep quiet about all of that. Im a carer for my child who at 15 -161/2, was in an extremely abusive relationship. My child is now 19, has severe anxiety, severe ptsd and im her sole carer 24/7. I used to have seizures because of the horror of dealing with the police/ countless hospital tests and visits and self harming etc. Ive been seizure free for 18 months and hope to be able to drive again soon. The thing is, I feel like I might start to have seizures again, I cant cope, I dread getting texts from my child, I dread their company and its an awful thing to say but its true.

The NHS services have been terrible however the GP is fantastic but just cant do anything to help. My own health comes with alot of challenges which theres no help for apart from a few pills. Im reliving her experiences as the abuser tried to stop my child breathing on several occasions right next door to my bedroom and I had no idea. im sorry about waffling but it feels a complex situation. I had a carers assessment and the assessor told me that my house was haunted, that the assessor had a spare set of hair straighteners for my child and I never heard from the assessor again.

I work for an organisation that liaises with the local Carers Service so im known to them as a professional. I should be able to deal with this as I work in the field but I cant get my head around this for some reason. What a mixed up mess. Forgot to say I also carry out some caring duties for my mother and partner too. im open to any suggestions! Thankyou

Re: Im new and really need some help

Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2021 3:28 pm
by Melly1
Hi Debbie and welcome,

What a stressful situation.

Have you received specialised counselling to help you cope with what has happened?

Is your daughter still living at home? What help is she receiving? How does she spend her time?

The carers assessor needs reporting - what an unhelpful and ridiculous thing to say. I think you need to request another assessment and ensure it is with someone else.

Melly1

Re: Im new and really need some help

Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2021 5:37 pm
by Ingrid Carers UK
Hello Debbie

Welcome to our forum, I'm sorry to hear about your situation, its sounds extremely upsetting for you. I'm not sure if you're aware but we have several online meet ups for our carers to come together and support each other. They're very informal and its a chance to meet other carers who, for all sorts of reasons, are also struggling at the moment. I've attached the link for you, it would be great to see you there, many new carers have come along to the sessions recently and said how helpful they've found them. https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advic ... ne-meetups

thanks Debbie
take care
Ingrid

Re: Im new and really need some help

Posted: Sun Oct 24, 2021 4:07 am
by mattix_2110
Ingrid Carers UK wrote:
Mon Oct 18, 2021 5:37 pm
Hello Debbie

Welcome to our forum, I'm sorry to hear about your situation, its sounds extremely upsetting for you. I'm not sure if you're aware but we have several online meet ups for our carers to come together and support each other. They're very informal and its a chance to meet other carers who, for all sorts of reasons, are also struggling at the moment. I've attached the link for you, it would be great to see you there, many new carers have come along to the sessions recently and said how helpful they've found them. https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advic ... ne-meetups

thanks Debbie
take care
Ingrid
It is really good and informative! I appreciate it. 8-)