Hi all,
Hubby suffering chronic back pain which has led to anxiety/depression/self harming/and thoughts of ending his life. And right now those feel like his good points ! Turned down by DLA despite GP support and am currently appealing. I do everything for him and our three children, dogs and the bloody ferret. But my normally cheerful outlook is taking a serious knocking this last week or so. I don't sleep well because after he has been laying in bed all day, he's up and about in the wee hours, which would be fine except I've taken to sleeping in the armchair because he smells so bad. He used to drive me mad with how often he'd bath and change clothes, now he's got pitch black feet that I can't stand to touch me through the night. He sweats so much in bed that he smells of urine (am constantly changing the sheets, on top of everything else !), and his beard smells like a tramps with the amount of chain smoking he does. Although we have not been intimate for a few years due to the drugs he takes, we did still have a close and affectionate relationship. He's very close to me and gets anxious if I'm not close by, but the very thought of a cuddle sets my teeth on edge. I love him dearly and do not pull any punches in telling in what he needs to do, nicely at first, then getting tougher if need be, but lately even tough love doesn't work. He's turned into a giant (6ft 7) man child, and at 5ft 2 I don't stand a hope in hell of forcing him to bathe. I do know if I offered to wash him he may let me, but I'm angry and frustrated at yet another task being added to my overwhelming list. I feel like I'm drowning , but would much prefer it if he did, because at least then he smell so bad !!!!!! And breathe.....