I want to give up
Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2021 9:40 am
My husband has suffered with depression for the last 15 years had ups and downs throughout this whole time and I have always been here to support him. However the last 6 months has become hell and I honestly just want to give up and tell him to pull himself together or move out (but I know that is the wrong thing to say to someone with mental health issues).
My son has developed a lot of autistic traits in the last 12 months since the start of lockdown and is also suffering with his own mental health and school. Over the years the relationship with his dad has not been great and he believes that his father hates him. Not helped when my husband makes comments such as "No I don't Love you" in the heat of an argument.
Now my husband says he will not accept help as CBT tells him he needs to "go with the flow" and he doesn't see that this is a viable option. He thinks the rest of us all shout at him too much, we look at him in an annoying way, my son has meltdowns and he cannot accept this, he says I never let him discipline my son yet whenever I ask him for an opinion on a punishment I get "I don't know".
This weekend has been hell, he stormed out of the house for 2 hours on Saturday night, 3 hours on Sunday afternoon and then 2 hours again on Sunday evening. My daughter is 15 and in the middle of exams and he has clearly said in his arguments that he doesn't care about them and she has gone to school so stressed today as she wasn't able to revise sufficiently.
He has got up this morning and we tried to talk but all he does is blame me and he thinks the way he reacts to us is acceptable. Often his reactions to the slightest thing are to shout, throw or break a piece of equipment (like a mouse or monitor or keyboard), swear at us and then walk out threatening to kill himself.
He says he will never talk to a doctor about having suicidal thoughts as he believes he will be locked up. I told him to try online forums and he says he has been banned from 3 of them for saying that he has suicidal thoughts.
I honestly do not know where to turn and what to do, I just know I can't carry on like this. He will not admit that he has an issue and if I bring up the fact that he has depression it is the worst thing ever as apparently I am blaming depression for everything.
My son has developed a lot of autistic traits in the last 12 months since the start of lockdown and is also suffering with his own mental health and school. Over the years the relationship with his dad has not been great and he believes that his father hates him. Not helped when my husband makes comments such as "No I don't Love you" in the heat of an argument.
Now my husband says he will not accept help as CBT tells him he needs to "go with the flow" and he doesn't see that this is a viable option. He thinks the rest of us all shout at him too much, we look at him in an annoying way, my son has meltdowns and he cannot accept this, he says I never let him discipline my son yet whenever I ask him for an opinion on a punishment I get "I don't know".
This weekend has been hell, he stormed out of the house for 2 hours on Saturday night, 3 hours on Sunday afternoon and then 2 hours again on Sunday evening. My daughter is 15 and in the middle of exams and he has clearly said in his arguments that he doesn't care about them and she has gone to school so stressed today as she wasn't able to revise sufficiently.
He has got up this morning and we tried to talk but all he does is blame me and he thinks the way he reacts to us is acceptable. Often his reactions to the slightest thing are to shout, throw or break a piece of equipment (like a mouse or monitor or keyboard), swear at us and then walk out threatening to kill himself.
He says he will never talk to a doctor about having suicidal thoughts as he believes he will be locked up. I told him to try online forums and he says he has been banned from 3 of them for saying that he has suicidal thoughts.
I honestly do not know where to turn and what to do, I just know I can't carry on like this. He will not admit that he has an issue and if I bring up the fact that he has depression it is the worst thing ever as apparently I am blaming depression for everything.