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I really need some kind of support - Carers UK Forum

I really need some kind of support

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
Hi all
I really need some kind of support. My partner has PTSD, mixed personality disorder and depression. Lately he has been really awkward and he is putting me on edge again . He booked an appointment to see a medium behind my back whilst I was at work so I wouldn't know he went to it. I only found out because our 2 yr old was playing on his phone and she went through his screens trying to get back to YouTube and that's when I saw the appointment booking !!! When I confronted him about he got all angry saying I don't trust him and I look through his phone which I don't do (probably because I don't feel the need to ) however last year he was sexting women and it was all done in secret before I found out about it due to his mental breakdown ! I've been through alot with him but he still pushes my boundary s and I'm fed up ! We have 4 kids between us who all live with us it's hectic as it is without him acting like a child also I just don't know what to do anymore. He can't see my point at all and I think he is heading for another breakdown . Anyone else got any advice for me x
Sarah, just wondering if you would like to start a thread of your own, so your posts don't get muddled up with Emma's? The moderators could do it for you if you wanted.

I have to say that if your partner was sexting other women then he can't put that down to his mental health issues. It's just slimeball behaviour!! Not acceptable.

Living with someone with MH is always a 'pig', but when you have four children (ie, 'real' children!) it can be impossible. I do understand your frustration and irritation that you now have a 'fifth' child to cope with.

Is your partner having treatment for his MH? I would make that a condition of you sticking with him. He has to focus on getting better and starting to pull his weight in the household. He CHOSE to have four children - 'growing up' is not an option for him. It's essential.

You may, sadly, have to assess your relationship very carefully, knowing your children 'come first' (not him), and it could be that you have to end your relationship for the sake of your children, and yourself, if he won't 'knuckle down' to sorting his head problems out effectively.

What do you think his PTSD was caused by? I would think that is the 'root problem' to be sorted out first, as the other aspects probably stem from that?

I don't want to be unsympathetic to him, but 'staying as he is' is no use either to him, or you, or his children.....
Sarah, are all the children his, or all yours, or ???

I just wonder if you are a combined family with children from different relationships?

I used to run a Brownie pack of 24 girls single handed, when I was much younger. I have two (now grown up) children, one with learning difficulties, but the thought of four children in my house all the time is still very daunting for me.