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I lost my temper and think I've made things worse. - Carers UK Forum

I lost my temper and think I've made things worse.

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
I've posted here before and always had great advice so wanted to see what the options are on this.

Basically, my wife and I had a row and now she wants to leave and take the children with her. I've managed over the years to keep calm and not let stress show as much as I can but it came out earlier. Only lasted a few seconds and a slammed door but it does seem to have undone a lot of work. Obviously I feel terrible for it but I'm just exhausted with all that's going on.

She came down after screaming and telling the kids she was taking them to her parents for a few days, wedding ring thrown at me and accusations of being controlling for saying she can't take them when she's so angry.

I don't know what to do now, I've run her a bath in the hope it'll help calm her but I'm really not sure which way to go. She told me this morning that she's feeling suicidal again (hence the extra stress) but reporting that to CMHT never gets anywhere other than an ear bashing from her for telling them.

I'm not sure what advice I'm asking for and I'm sorry this post is a bit rambling but I've got noone I can talk things through with so it all comes out as a bit of an unorganised mess.
You need someone to talk to. I have counselling funded by Social Services, as part of my Carers Plan after a Carers Assessment. Private counselling funded this way is definitely now what you need, rather than a few session free via the GP, so you can share you feelings without being judged and you can decide where you go from now on.
Sorry you haven't said but has your wife been diagnosed with Depression or other mental health issues.
If she has she should be receiving some treatment, help and support from the GP or mental health services.

You mentioned the CMHT, is your wife seeing them regularly?
You say your wife doesn't want you telling the CMHT when she is suicidal.

Why is your wife suicidal? there must be good reasons.
She needs to talk over all her bad feelings and get them resolved,
Get to the root cause of her issues and find better ways of coping.

There are crisis services so you or your wife can get crisis help and support 24/7.
There should be a crisis number that you can phone day or night to get fast good help and support.
The GP or your local hospital or A&E should be able to give you the crisis number.
Caring for someone with mental illness can be very stressful, you need support as well, have you a local
carers centre that can help, a local MIND or Rethink can help and advise.

Calm or the Samaritans can help provide a listening ear for you or your wife.
But long term both you and your wife need the right help and support, you have kids the stress can't be doing them any good either.