Husband sectioned so unwell, don't recognise

[Trigpoint]

My husband is currently detained under a section. He's so unwell and not getting any better yet. Been on ward two weeks. I'm struggling as he's only speaking to me as I've access all his belonging. He demands I drop them off, doesn't speak to me and if I challenge him in anyway he's abusive. Tonight I have told nurses stop him ringing me, as I'm struggling with the person he's currently become and the abuse. He so not my husband. He's just going tru assessment for Schizoaffective Disorder.. Previous diagnosis for 14 years schizophrenia??
Not sure if we'll ever get back on track after this time as it's horrible when the person who I married isn't there there.. Help.

[Scally]

So sorry, this is a really tough one to face up to.
If it is any consolation, my brother's wife has struggled on and off for decades with very serious mental health issues, and yet they are still together and enjoy a loving relationship. However, any element of abuse in a relationship must be taken very seriously and ultimately it is your own long-term sanity, health and wellbeing that must take precedence.

[bowlingbun]

Hi Hellen, can I suggest that for the moment, you just deal with one day at a time. You have clearly been traumatised by recent events. If you don't want to take his stuff in, then don't. You can send it by post, by taxi, or drop it off at the office, but you don't have to see him if you don't want to. You can just ignore his requests, but somehow I suspect that's a bridge too far? If you are with BT, then it's easy to block his calls, with a service called "Choose to Refuse". Google it for more information. It's very quick and easy to do, and whenever you want, you can change it back. Then get a new mobile and give the hospital the number, so that if they want to contact you, they can. Take care of yourself now. If you are not sleeping, consider going to your GP to ask him for something gentle to help you. Mine gave me Amitryptilene after my husband died, and I've given up taking it, then taken it again when I know I'm super stressed and wound up like a spring. Remember, you are welcome on this forum whenever you want.

[StarFish_1502]

Hellen , I'm so sorry you're going through this. It is an awful experience. My son was hospitalised yesterday for the fourth or fifth time. This morning I took him some tobacco and he was in the exercise yard with a nurse; he noticeably shouted at me but not her, because he holds me responsible for 'ratting' on him to the health services.

I find it helps to imagine the illness as some monstrous thing inside him that is desperate to survive. It uses all his intelligence and cunning to do this while at the same time being hateful and abusive using his voice.

When he is well he is totally different; the real person reappears who is gentle and loving.

After one very serious episode I refused to have him back and the authorities had to find him somewhere else to live. He now has a council flat, though I willingly have him to stay with me as long as he remains well. I would have every sympathy for you if you felt you could not have your husband back.

[Trigpoint]

Thank you to all who have posted reply. Coming on here certainly makes me feel much better.
Starfish, I've just gone through very similar stuff to you, I was begging psychiatrist to take my husband in, and he was saying my husband had capacity. They only started the mental health act assessment when I said I could no longer live with him! Plus I was at risk, which I am still with no improvement in two weeks.
My husband is section 2, tribunal is next week and section 2 ends Week after. Ive told them I want him there till he's much much better and I'm fully involved in his care. Thus far there's no improvement. I hope they change his meds next week to Clozapine, only thing ever truly worked.
I'm trying taking it a day at a time, which difficult but trying.
I really appreciate all your support and advice.. It's so good to know I'm not alone.. Xx

[StarFish_1502]

Yep, Clozapine did it for us too, but my son couldn't tolerate the side effects. The blood testing was a faff as well.

If your husband's still unwell at the end of a section 2 might they not put him on a section 3?

http://www.rethink.org/living-with-ment ... ns-2-3-4-5

[Trigpoint]

My husband didn't get off his section! He's allowed escorted leave at present, starting tomorrow to emergency dental work ?? Plus looking at changing meds soon to Clozapine (possibly in a week, husband not keen so have to persuade)and possibly placing on section 3 ?? Unless agrees to stay informally..
I've not heard from him in few days now, and it's really odd, as he really doesn't like me and not speaking to me, now for three weeks as blames me he's sectioned. It's lonely at home without him, however, presently he's so ill, he's not my husband as so delusional and aggressive towards me.. I miss him and wonder if he'll get back to his usual personality soon.. Xx

[bowlingbun]

Hi Trigpoint, that's good news that he's in the right place, but so sad as well. Try to use this as some sort of respite, although I know you are still very, very worried. You need to look after yourself as well. If possible, try to take a few walks or go swimming or similar, to blow a few "cobwebs" away.

[purge11]

So sorry to hear about the difficulties you have been going through. I am interested to hear what support you are getting. This is one thing carers tend to leave last, but its important you get emotional support yourself.

[Trigpoint]

Thank you. I'm very lucky to work full time and have a really supportive set of colleagues and managers, so as the breadwinner that helps enormously.
In my spare time my husband and I love hill walking, living in Peak District that's right on door step. Therfore I've been walking locally on own at weekends to help and clear head. I know there are groups but for now I prefer my solitary walking. Support wise, I've some very good friends and family who help, however, I'm also mindful they've own lives too, therefore do spend time alone quite bit outside work, but I'm trying see that as a positive..