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Husband with depression - struggling to cope - Carers UK Forum

Husband with depression - struggling to cope

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
I have a child who has just started school and a new born baby. My husband had a psychotic episode 7 months ago. I am his carer. He returned to work for 2 or 3 months but was unable to cope so is now off sick again. He is undergoing treatment with medication and has been diagnosed with major depression.
I don't have support from family. They pay lip service but don't actually help in any way. I am struggling as find myself feeling very anxious. We have worries about whether he will be able to work. Also I worry about whether we will be able to get through this and whether he will get better.
I just don't know what to do.
I'm supporting my wife in similar circumstances. Make sure you get a referral to you local NHS Crisis Support Team . This may seem obvious but I didn't know they existed for many years. You need your GP to refer you do they have access to health records.
Use them when you need help.
Make sure you have a sympathetic GP.
There is another website for MIND who have various links and a support page .
Also, to get anything out of the NHS , you may have to become a persistent nuisance to nag and chase and remind them.
Thanks I didn't know about this. Will look into it. Hope your situation improves.
The support group may have a different name in your area. His psychiatrist should be able to give you more details , or be part of the team.
My husband had an acute psychotic episode and was sectioned. I was at a total loss and didn't know where to turn. That will be five years ago in Feb. A nurse told me about rethink mental health support group, they gave me counselling, a carer's assessment and social events I know I can pick up my phone and Trish will be on the end of the line.

My husband developed clinical depression with paranoia after his release from hospital and tried to take his life, he did return to work for a short time but was then granted ill health retirement he was 52 at the time. It was stress at work which caused the mental illness. My husband won't engage with mental health team and only allows my daughter to share the caring role on a Friday (I love Fridays!)

I want to give you hope, my husband is still recovering and has a lot of set backs and a lot of medication, but he is improving. I made him a chart which he has to tick everyday to say if he has washed, showered or shaved and if he has been out the house and so far it is working. I also work full time as a teacher. It is a lonely place being a carer for someone you love and they are unable to show any emotions in return.

I have some tips for you:
If you feel you are not getting the right support write to the practice manager of your GP surgery, and contact rethink.
Rethink will support you and give so much advise on avenues you can go down to get help for both of you.
If you haven't already sign up to sure start children's centre and use the groups messy play, baby massage you will make new friends and they can offer support too.
Apply for Disability living allowance think it is PIPs now it is not means tested,
Go to citizens advice and they will tell you what you could apply for for support financially.
Get your husband to sign a letter saying he gives permission for his medical notes health to be shared with you and you can phone and talk to Drs on his behalf, best thing I ever did.
This is the most difficult one especially with you having young children too, try and find a little time just for you.

I hope this helps a little bit, big strong and assertive if that doesn't work break down and cry these are the only two ways anyone listens I have found. I am an early years teacher and think you must be exhausted caring for your children and husband.

Take care and take control sod the house work and give yourself two days to visit CAB, find local rethink support group, get husband to sign a letter.