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Husband recently attempted suicide - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Husband recently attempted suicide

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
Hi Charli, I would be having a think as well regarding what you want in the long term and how much you are prepared to put up with.Put yourself first and think about all your options and if you are prepared to become his carer and live in fear regarding what you might one day come home to.
Wishing you all the best with everything.
Dear Charli

I, sadly, had many years of supporting my son through mental illness before losing him to suicide at the age of thirty-five four years ago. I truly understand what you and your family are going through.
From my own experience, it does not really help to blame anyone, no matter how awful your husband's parents are or have been in the past. There were many situations that caused problems for my son, but he hated conflict of any kind, even when I had to 'fight his corner' for him to get him the care he needed.
The most important issues for your husband will be to try to find out why his medication didn't seem to work any more - sometimes, a tolerance can develop over time; my son was quite well for about nine years before he began to deteriorate. Maybe, if the doctors can find another effective medication, or alter his dose, this will only be a temporary setback?
Talking therapies would probably help him a lot in dealing with his parents; sadly, our local health authority wouldn't provide this for my son, but I believe they might have helped him, too. I think he will need help in developing these coping strategies because he really needs support in building his own self-worth - even if he never sees his parents again, he will need help to change the negative perceptions of himself that are deeply rooted in his psyche.
Try to look after yourself, too; this will be much easier if your husband is able to access all the care and support to which he is entitled. I hope you can work through this as a family, and I hope you have good support from your own family and friends. I also hope some of this will help, too.
Hi Charlotte,

I'm five years into the journey of caring for a husband who had an acute psychotic episode due to stress at work and then tried to take his life. I am living with a zombie and so alone
I feel grief, anger, upset and start my day by having a cry in the shower before work.

So I know the cause of his mental health but knowing the cause and putting blame doesn't make it any easier. Like you I hate what the employers did to my husband I'm learning not to dwell on it else I become angry and upset and that is exhausting. Our life and plans and dreams have been ripped from us with his depression. He was granted ill health retirement after I got the head of a large union involved.

Get your husband to sign a letter saying he gives permission for his medical notes to be shared with you. That was one of the best things I ever did!

I don't know what financial pressures you are under, but reduce them, sell downsize or rent. Can he move down if he is in a position of authority at work (that would really annoy his parents!) the less stress and pressure you both have the easier both of your recovery, don't forget you are suffering too. It is like bereavement not just for your husband but for the life you had and everything is going to be down to you.

If you want any other advise, contact Rethink, and ask me on this thread if you like.
Take care of yourself