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- Member
Tue May 26, 2009 11:59 am
I have started this post, as I wanted to tell how my son's illness affects him - and me.
Thanks to those who posted such warm messages to me in answer to a post on another board.
My son had his first 'episode' when taking his final exams at Uni. Uncharacteristically he 'lost it' and hit one of his friends, then just ran. Luckily he had good friends who managed to get him to hospital and then the nightmare began.
He was in there for many months, but we didn't get a diagnosis until a couple of years later. Paranoid Schizophrenia.
During the intervening years, he has been in and out of hospital for varying lengths of time. ..seen many consultants, had many different types of medecine plus ECT. He is, at the moment also having Behavious Cognitive Therapy. All great words, but make no difference.
The thing is - even the 'professionals' know nothing about why it happens and the treatment is hit and miss. There is one thing that they are all in agreement over - they ALL know best!
What they don't seem to understand is that usually, 'Mother knows best'.
His general problem is that he needs to die, to save the World. He thinks that the World is going to end; through nuclear war, or some tradgedy. This is not a young man who is uneducated - he has been through Uni and managed a degree.
It's not getting any better - in fact it's worse.
We all get fed up with hearing people hoot their car horns when travelling along a road? We know that it's either road rage, or someone they know walking along the path? But to my son, that person is telling him to get on and kill himself. Even trains whistles have the same effect on him. The TV also tells him that, through some of the adverts. Have you ever noticed how many have the saying 'go on, do it!' in their advertisements?
I can go and relax in the country if I need to - as he says, there is no peace for him. Voices in his head call him dirty names and keep telling him to 'go on, do it'.
The press stereotype the person with schizophrenia - they are aggressive persons to be wary of.
Not my son - he wouldn't hurt a fly. Literally. He loves all wildlife and will rescue the smallest bug from drowning in our pond. Everyone who meets him , which is few people these days, as he keeps away from public places, says what a lovely young man he is.
Medication is a nightmare, as nothing seems to work. The one that did do more than others was stopped as it was bringing his white blood cells down too low.
So we struggle from day to day. Sometimes his old sense of humour comes back fleetingly. He has a very dry sense of humour and can have me me rolled up with just a word and a look.
At the moment he is spending a lot of time at his flat - even so, he imagines that the neighbour downstairs is telling him that he has to get on and end his life. (my son's, not his, by the way
) Officially, he is in a local Mental Health Rehab Unit, with trained Staff there. I must say that I can't speak more highly of them - his welfare has always been their main concern and even now, they phone him regularly to see how he is and make sure that he has his tablets, which have to be collected every couple of days.
It's just the consultants who I have the problem with. They see him for a few minutes, and go by what is written on his record sheet.
Having said all this, when we spend time out on a walk with the dogs', it's wonderful. We both take our cameras and wander through the countryside seeing what bugs' we can find to photograph. (Not many when little Bryn races through the grass!) For that moment in time, we're just like any other Mother and Son.
By the way, he's now 28. He wants to be able to keep a job. That's if anyone would employ him anyway. He feels guilty about living on benefit.
He's a talented, sensitive young man - I just wish that he would believe it.
Thanks to those who posted such warm messages to me in answer to a post on another board.
My son had his first 'episode' when taking his final exams at Uni. Uncharacteristically he 'lost it' and hit one of his friends, then just ran. Luckily he had good friends who managed to get him to hospital and then the nightmare began.
He was in there for many months, but we didn't get a diagnosis until a couple of years later. Paranoid Schizophrenia.
During the intervening years, he has been in and out of hospital for varying lengths of time. ..seen many consultants, had many different types of medecine plus ECT. He is, at the moment also having Behavious Cognitive Therapy. All great words, but make no difference.
The thing is - even the 'professionals' know nothing about why it happens and the treatment is hit and miss. There is one thing that they are all in agreement over - they ALL know best!
What they don't seem to understand is that usually, 'Mother knows best'.
His general problem is that he needs to die, to save the World. He thinks that the World is going to end; through nuclear war, or some tradgedy. This is not a young man who is uneducated - he has been through Uni and managed a degree.
It's not getting any better - in fact it's worse.
We all get fed up with hearing people hoot their car horns when travelling along a road? We know that it's either road rage, or someone they know walking along the path? But to my son, that person is telling him to get on and kill himself. Even trains whistles have the same effect on him. The TV also tells him that, through some of the adverts. Have you ever noticed how many have the saying 'go on, do it!' in their advertisements?
I can go and relax in the country if I need to - as he says, there is no peace for him. Voices in his head call him dirty names and keep telling him to 'go on, do it'.
The press stereotype the person with schizophrenia - they are aggressive persons to be wary of.
Not my son - he wouldn't hurt a fly. Literally. He loves all wildlife and will rescue the smallest bug from drowning in our pond. Everyone who meets him , which is few people these days, as he keeps away from public places, says what a lovely young man he is.
Medication is a nightmare, as nothing seems to work. The one that did do more than others was stopped as it was bringing his white blood cells down too low.
So we struggle from day to day. Sometimes his old sense of humour comes back fleetingly. He has a very dry sense of humour and can have me me rolled up with just a word and a look.
At the moment he is spending a lot of time at his flat - even so, he imagines that the neighbour downstairs is telling him that he has to get on and end his life. (my son's, not his, by the way
) Officially, he is in a local Mental Health Rehab Unit, with trained Staff there. I must say that I can't speak more highly of them - his welfare has always been their main concern and even now, they phone him regularly to see how he is and make sure that he has his tablets, which have to be collected every couple of days. It's just the consultants who I have the problem with. They see him for a few minutes, and go by what is written on his record sheet.
Having said all this, when we spend time out on a walk with the dogs', it's wonderful. We both take our cameras and wander through the countryside seeing what bugs' we can find to photograph. (Not many when little Bryn races through the grass!) For that moment in time, we're just like any other Mother and Son.
By the way, he's now 28. He wants to be able to keep a job. That's if anyone would employ him anyway. He feels guilty about living on benefit.
He's a talented, sensitive young man - I just wish that he would believe it.
