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Help needed with clinical depression in partner for 1st time - Carers UK Forum

Help needed with clinical depression in partner for 1st time

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
My background is that my partners business has gone into liquidation and he can't find work has loads of debt etc and he is in a very black place.....he's driking quite heavily, his doctor has given him beta blockers to lower his BP to reduce the panic attacks but I guess the drinking raises this again.....

He is due his first councelling sesson in 2 weeks but isnt sleeping, eating properly, functioning normally and is having manic highs and crashing lows.

My main thing for me is that he is putting this act on to everyone else and no-one sees the panic attacks or the drinking or the black moods and threatened suicides remarks and texts i get when he's not with me.

I realise its the depression talking but i've never had to deal with anything like this before and it seems to be catching i'm feeling very very low and not sleeping or concentrating at work and finding myself getting mad at him when my support / pandering seems to get me no-where

Hopefully people can advice me whats best to do.........? he's refusing to talk about anything and burying his head in the sand if i broach anything he has 'episodes' punching himself in the head threatening killing himself, he hates himself and feels hes not good enough for me Sad
Welcome to the forum Image

I am sorry to hear about your partner...I am Mental Health Carer for my husband too.

It very common situation what both of you have been through unfortunately. I think, your partner should get back to GP with you, explain what has been happening and ask for other medication + further support. If he does not want to talk then you can - hopefully, he is not refusal you to get involved. You both need to support each other to get through this best you can. I will take time but you can!

I know there are many people manage with thier lives with GP's support (medication) only. But also, I know there are many people need much more support from specialist. Because getting a right support in mental health takes long time, it is better to think now to get a consultant while waiting for the councelling.

Keep records of what is happening and show them to the doctor. It does not help you I know, but very unfortunately, mental health takes 8-10 years to be properly diagnosed or understood about individual difficulties, which is too long, yes, but it seems to me the professionals need to build up thier own records before providing a core support Image Image Image

You need support for yourself asap as well. If GP is not guiding you any where, you can ask for Carers Assessment by yourself at local Carers Service.

Good thing is he is talking to you how he feels. I know how hard that is but please let him talk and avoid argument + avoid alchol. There is support for Carers to talk at safe place which is important.

If your partner becomes too dangerous to himself and you, call 999. Do not forget to let them know about mental ill health condition and he is not violent towards you.

Also, there are good help lines:
Samaritans 08457 90 90 90
Saneline 0845 767 8000 (http://www.sane.org.uk/AboutMentalIllness/NeedHelpNow)

Mind http://www.mind.org.uk/
Rethink http://www.rethink.org/
The Royal Collage of psychiatrists http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/

One thing at time - he needs to be stable first and getting support for you both.

Take care.
Thank you for your reply, just reading through everyone else's posts has helped a lot too. Things are a little easier he's got an appointment with a counceller and also an appointment with the alcohol team which is a good start and he does realise whats wrong and is asking for help which i know is a big thing in itself.....!!