Anyone else a carer for a teen with mental health issues?

[Nic_1911]

Good evening

Is anyone else caring for a child/young person with mental health issues?

It would be great to be able to speak to someone in a similiar situation.

My child is 13 and has severe mental health difficulties which started 5 years ago.

As a single parent with no support system locally and also trying to hold down a part-time job (which I have only been able to do as I now work at home) - life is a lonely place.

I have finally managed to get proper treatment started and a multi-agency team in place but don't have an adult carer support plan as the only support I would like is a small break weekly but they can't manage to be with anyone other than me (even family when they can visit).

[Karen_2004123456]

Hi,
I care for a daughter in early 20’s, obviously been through teen years. Single parent also.
Not sure how much help I can be, but happy to chat to you.
I do know how hard it is & how no-one understands unless they’ve been there.
Happy to talk here or message me anytime. I can’t promise a quick response but I will read & reply.
Absolutely understand your need for some respite, something I’m still struggling to get.
Anyway, take care
X

[Nic_1911]

Thanks Karen

It's really tough doing it alone - I have only had 2 small breaks for less than an hour since the beginning of 2020.

My family are supportive but more than 100 miles away - they try to visit when they can but my teen won't come out to see them and the visit just ends up a stress of me receiving multiple texts asking when they are leaving.

Because of this and the fact I now work at home - I feel so isolated. I have lost all my friends over the past 5 years as I just can't be available for anyone and of course can't go out and do anything.

I recently reconnected with a carers support worker who is great for advice on practicalities etc but can't help with the fact my teen wouldn't cope with someone else providing care so having respite would be pointless.

I recently applied for funding to try and take us away for a short break if I could get them out the house to go - but was turned down this morning as they are not 'disabled' enough.

I would like to see the person who made the decision spending months trying to convince a teen not to take their own life and sit up with them night in night out to the early hours discussing how they can't feel they can go on and /or having a complete meltdown and throwing stuff about and screaming and shouting as they don't know how to deal with all the horrible thoughts they are having

Just a bad day today - tomorrow is another day and I'll just get up as I always do and push through it.

I'm sorry to hear how long your Daughter has been having difficulties - I pray everyday that recovery will happen but most days feel it is still a long road to travel.

[bowlingbun]

I'm very sorry that so little help is being offered to you, I'm afraid that I know nothing about helping someone caring with a child, or child mental health services.
How long is it since she attended school? Is she getting any home tutor support?

[Lollipop]

Hi Nic

I have just sent you a PM - maybe we can help each other or at the very least have a good chat!!!

X

[Nic_1911]

I'm very sorry that so little help is being offered to you, I'm afraid that I know nothing about helping someone caring with a child, or child mental health services.
How long is it since she attended school? Is she getting any home tutor support?

Hi Bowlingbun

She last attended in March 2020 but had been sporadic since August 2018.

She doesn't have home tutor support but is still registered with school so they provide work for her when she is able to work.

[Nic_1911]

Hi Nic

I have just sent you a PM - maybe we can help each other or at the very least have a good chat!!!

X

Hi Lollipop

thank you - will reply soon

[Karen_2004123456]

Hi Nic,
Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply, things been particularly difficult here.
Good to see you have other offers of support though

I recognise everything you’re saying & I know how important a break is,
I have a week away booked for next month, still haven’t found the courage to tell my child, though I have told her care coordinator. I really hope I can manage it but it’s not looking good. Not going far, as I have my dad’s needs to consider too, but God I need this!
An example of how bad things are. I went to see my dad, she messaged me saying I needed to come home as she had to take medicine & there wasn’t a clean medicine spoon. She’s 22.
Do NOT let it get to this point.

You seem to be doing well re getting help & services, though I’m sure it doesn’t feel like it.
Hang in there pet
X

[Karen_2004123456]

The ‘Not disabled enough/ill enough’ is a very common response. It’s awful. Basically they are waiting until our children are seriously harming themselves before they’ll do anything.
I remember ringing camhs crisis team many years ago, saying child was out of control,screaming, throwing things,tearing her hair out, banging her head etc. I was told, unless she’s making a serious attempt on her life, there’s nowhere she can go, you just have to ride it out.

I sincerely hope things have improved
All the best
X

[Helen_2108123456]

Hi, yes me. My daughter is 14 and being tested for Autism, but I fear she may suffer the same as her father - delusional disorder. She is with CAMHS. CAMHS have preliminary assessed her and then I had to do an 'interview' if you like, she said that it would take about an hour. 2 hours later and we were still talking. She said she'd never done an interview that lasted so long. My daughter is 'complex' that's all we know at the moment. CAMHS are putting her forward for more assessments so we will know more then.

its such a worrying time. I am single mum too and though my mum and dad are there they don't really really understand, if you know what I mean? I'm exhausted. You know, I just want my funny little gorgeous girl back in my arms. But life has thrown this in my path and I will get over it, it's just hard.