He says he just wants to smile again

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
He says he just wants to smile again.
He blames the CPN for his problems,
either them or the CMHT
or the psychiatrist
or sometimes his ex, or his brother, or whoever is in the way.
Never me or our kids
not yet anyway.

He blames the drugs
He needs stronger ones, he thinks.
Better ones.
He's tried them all
and none of them do what he wants.
And I can't help but wonder, is what he wants too much to ask?

Is he looking for something that cannot be found?
Is he blaming people who don't have the answers,
who don't have a magic wand?
Are smiles really found at the bottom of a bottle?
Be it pills, drink, or whatever.

Or does he,
like the rest of us,
have to find the ability to smile
despite his feelings......
Smile despite the bipolar,
rather than waiting for a magic wand to take it away.

It's not going to go
I can see that
He's not going to receive a 'cure'.
And the drugs that help his mood
F**k up his physical health.
He needs to choose, unfortunately,
living a short happy life
or living a long(er), mixed up life
.... presuming his thoughts of suicide remain in his head and aren't put into action.

What a choice
what a horrible choice
He says he just wants to smile again
But both physical pain
and mental anguish
wipe the smile from his face.

He says he just wants to smile again
And I smile and say, I want that too
but somewhere inside
I'm not sure it can happen
Not like he wants it to, anyway......
Well thought out Poem. I like it, deep from the heart.
Thank you for sharing this with us. x x
I feel and live every word