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Feeling hopeless and helpless - Carers UK Forum

Feeling hopeless and helpless

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
Hi this is an update from my last post when my schizophrenic son was admitted to hospital after making a serious attempt to end his life. He was in hospital for just under 2 weeks while they switched to his new meds and I was hopeful that he would be improved when he came out. How wrong can I be. During his time in hospital he underwent no sort of therapy they didn't even sort his sleeping pattern out they seemed to leave people in bed as it was easier for them. He caught the norovirus whilst in there so consequently was not absorbing his new meds. I tried to express my concerns to no avail. He was discharged on Wednesday and at first I was feeling positive as was my son. However the paranoia is back he is randomly shouting at the voices in his head and I just feel like this is never going to end. I'm struggling but it seems him being in hospital is a worse option. I'm also feeling completely traumatised having flashbacks not sleeping and feel tearful most of the time. I think this is because I almost saw my son die in front of my eyes although his mental health team seem to be playing this down. I have recently had talking therapy which has now ended so now I feel completely lost and alone with no one to tell how I feel. Sorry if I sound negative but I'm really struggling
(((( Hugs Debra)))
I really don't know how to help. Except, is it at all possible for you to obtain a private consultation for your son? Apologies if it's not appropriate. I'm not very familiar with MH situations. I have an idea of what it feels like but only because hubby has vascular dementia, and he's had delirium, delusions etc. It's very scary, and emotionally charging.
I do feel for you. X
When he was discharged there should have been a crisis plan made for him. Follow it or At least call the crisis team, and keep calling. You shouldn't be having to face this on your own .
Tomorrow go back to your gp about you
I know when anyone is stressed its difficult to be assertive but you need to be for both him and you.
I know it's wrong to have to fight for treatment for him and support for you but fight you must.
Good luck
Thanks for the hugs and kind words . I would love to be able to get a private consultation for him but I'm only just managing as it is . When my son was discharged the home treatment team were supposed to come the following day but they cancelled with no explanation or any other appt . He is seeing his care co ordinator tomorrow and his support worker the day after but out of hours it's the crisis Team who just tell us to go to a/ e . I've written a long email to the head of mental health and after Christmas I'm making an appt to see my mp I'm just so sad and exhausted by the whole thing and trying to hold down a full time job is proving very difficult
Debra big hugs from me too. Make a list of things you want to discuss with these people including your MP, in fact make one for each of them too. This is so, once they have gone, you don't suddenly realise something you needed to mention but missed at the time. It will help to get your mind clear pre meeting as well. Leave space to make a note of their answer and /or promises and then you can return to a point you feel wasn't addressed properly. I really hope you get somewhere because you most certainly shouldn't have to cope all alone.
Hi Debra
I'm glad there are some appointments in place. Fingers crossed they happen.
To stay strong enough to fight for your son you need to do everything possible to look after yourself. That means everything from healthy eating, exercise, fresh air, someone to talk to and even possibly medication. it may seem a tall order what with working full time but it is vital if you are to be able to continue.
See your gp about you and your needs. Have you had a Carers Assessment recently? If not, demand one
Those are good ideas elaine thank you. We are having another care assessment in the new year but in the meantime I feel abandoned. We had a further episode last night he was stressed with the voices and was screaming into my face I rang the police who were wonderful and took him to hospital and got him booked into a/e . They told me to stay home as I was a complete wreck by that time but he walked out of hospital without being seen. I really feel I'm running out of options now as there is not much help out of hours and I'm really scared of what the night ahead will bring
I am sorry about this and wish I could do somethIng to help. And as always I remain dismayed at the lack of support and treatment for those with MH problems and of course their families, like you. Debatably the most challenging caring role.....and so misunderstood so often.
Couldn't ignore you, can't offer offer advice....couldn't keep my trap shut either (?!) .
If need be call the police again. What a terrible failure in the system.
Totally understand your distress, is there nobody nearby who can support you. Guess that was a silly question, sorry, ignore it.
Just seems crazy that you haven't been given advice on how best to manage crisies.
(MRs A seems to know her stuff and I am pleased to see her input here).
Sometimes it helps to put it all down and kind words do help I know that no one has a magic wand but just knowing that there is somewhere to vent my feelings helps a lot I no longer feel alone and that helps a lot