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Re: Fed up (BPD)

Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2018 10:18 am
by Paul _1807
Sadly i have to wait till someone wants me to play for them.
I really do think my marriage has run its course, feels loveless, her only interest is her bff, according to one of my wifes fb posts her mate is the only person she trusts 100% wich actually made me laugh out loud, as she'll never be there for my wife, she wont ever drop what shes doing and travel to see my wife.
I will try and talk to her about how things are between us but i doubt it will get anything resolved.

Re: Fed up (BPD)

Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2018 10:27 am
by jenny lucas
You could try a trial separation, and see how it works.

The big issue, of course, is the children. What would you do in that respect?

Re: Fed up (BPD)

Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2018 10:38 am
by bowlingbun
Nothing will change until YOU change something.

Re: Fed up (BPD)

Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2018 8:30 pm
by Paul _1807
Sorry,not being ignorant, had a lot on with kids and wife, trial seperation is a no go, if it comes down to it,our marriage is over for good, I've been put through enough in the past that not many would, have heard some disturbing rumours about her times away too.

Re: Fed up (BPD)

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 11:00 am
by bowlingbun
Hi Paul, are you "flogging a dead horse?"
If she has no intention of ever changing, then you must make some changes, always remembering that you did your very best.

Re: Fed up (BPD)

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 11:45 am
by jenny lucas
Sadly, the key issue remains the children......

Re: Fed up (BPD)

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 12:15 pm
by bowlingbun
Children deserve to have love and care. I can't see that her going off as she does is the action of a reliable parent.

Re: Fed up (BPD)

Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2018 8:40 pm
by Paul _1807
She is having a mild episode, christmas stress,kids oh and me, i rolled in on Sunday morning at about half 5 in the morning after djing the Saturday night, waited nesrly an hour to get a taxi home, that was wrong,so wrong in fact that she said she couldn't be bothered we me and her anymore. We had a row tonight over things from our past. Im not thinking straight to put it all down properly

Re: Fed up (BPD)

Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2018 11:05 am
by jenny lucas
Paul, can you find a way to at least get through Christmas sufficiently peaceably (even if you have to bite your tongue!) so your children can have a good time?

It's awful when Christmas is 'blighted' by parents arguing. Sadly, I remember it well... (like your situation, it wasn't my dad kicking off, but my mum - usually, yes, because of the extra stress over Xmas, which, for most women, simply represents a lot of work....)

Can you help 'streamline' the work aspects of getting Christmas 'done' so stress levels go down all round????

Re: Fed up (BPD)

Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2018 1:56 pm
by bowlingbun
I'm fed up with TV programmes which make out that you are a failure as a parent if you don't cook a million strange things at Christmas, full of butter, or goose fat or...
Then in the New Year we will hear about the obesity crisis, the need for more exercise, more healthy low fat food....!

My family are definitely deprived. Sprouts that look like sprouts, for example, not shredded and mushed days in advance and then reheated in the microwave on the Day..etc..etc..etc.