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dont know what it is, any ideas please? - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

dont know what it is, any ideas please?

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
Bella, I don't see alcohol abuse as self-inflicted because the booze takes over your life.

You're still a carer, and you're caring for someone who is very ill and maybe not making choices so much as terrified of what will happen to her if she stops drinking - because whatever she is drinking for has not gone away, either.

It might help for you to contact Al-Anon, which runs support groups around the country, to see if you can meet up with others going through similar problems. And of course you're welcome here. You can find al-anon here:


You already know where to find us Image
Thank you Charles,
You are quite right of course about this being an illness.
The problem is that I live 150 miles away and there are other family members much closer to her including my father who lives with her.
I undertook the responsibility of seeking medical advice on her behalf in this incase it was something that my father or others might need breaking to them gently thinking that it was an absolute emergency but in reality, I am a carer in my own home so I think it will be best to enlist the help of closer members now we know the nature of the problem.
It is sometimes easier to see something with hindsight.

When my mother died, my father was regularly drinking wnough to make himself ill, and I, a Carer for three people already, had great difficult coping with this, although I could see that he was blocking out my Mums death.

Recently, I have been bereaved too, one of my adult children, and I understand my Dad perfectly. It is only rarely that I drink, but in the last few weeks I have been throwing food down my throat like it is going out of fashion. It is a way to numb my mind to the heartbreak. It is awful that it has taken something as dreadful as this, to understand my father, but perhaps if Dad had been able to talk about his loss, it would have helped. I have been helped and supported here, and by many friends, and talking is my way through.(I have stopped eating everything in sight too).Dad has always kept his feelings bottled up.

Good luck with trying to involve other family members for support for your Mum, especially when you already have your hands full, as a Carer.x
Thank you for sharing that Daisy.
Now that you say that I had a friend who lost her son and tried to deaden her feelings with drinking.
Both you and Charlie have added a new perspective on this in different ways.
Hi Bella - I'm pleased that you have found the answer to your mother's problems. Can I just say that in the medical jargon, drinking in this situation is called 'self medicating', which, after all, is what it is.
I hope that you can eventually get to talk with your Mum about her feelings - which can be done on a phone while the rest of the family care for her day to day needs?
she is self medicating and needs some sort of help but cant get anyhelp untils he admits she needs it.

i hope everything works out though!