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dont know what it is, any ideas please? - Carers UK Forum

dont know what it is, any ideas please?

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
Hello, I am new here and found this site after deliberately looking around the net because I would like some help or advice in trying to understand what is happening to my Mum and hoped that someone here might have had similar experiences and be able to shed some light for me.
Since her mother died four years ago My Mum has become virtually unrecognisable as the woman she was. My Nan died at the age of 90 and had had a long and happy life so there were no shocks there. Since then my mum comes over to stay with me for a few days at a time and for the whole time she is here she never stops talking. This possibly sounds funny but believe me it isnt, her converswtion is mindless although not very repetitive, There have been times when I have actually asked her to be quiet but all she does is start to whisper. At one point the other day I just lost it and asked he if she would leave me in peace for a short while so she went upstairs and immediately started taliing to my husband and drove him up the wall.
She is 70, she has very good physical heralth and is a little forgetful but nothing worrying and she herself cares for my father quite capably taking care of appointments etc. at the docs. and his medication.
This probably sounds shocking to experienced carers here, I look after my husband and occasionally my granddaughter, both of whom have severe epilepsy and so I am used to being patient and dealing with physical distress but this is completely new to me. I would really like to know what is happening to her. A couple of months ago she went to stay with my sister and my sister had to take her home again early. She wakes at 5am and starts talking, she goes to bed at 10pm and she does not stop for a single moment the whole time she is here. She talks all through our meals and is not selective about topics and will happily chat about the gruelling details of mrs bloggs eye operations as we venture into our dinner.
This is not the calm, quiet, intelligent woman I know as my mother and I understand that she is possibly nearing needing help but do not know how to diagnose what is happening to her. I just want to understand this. Any ideas PLEASE?
I would make an appointment to see the doctor, discuss this with her and see if she might encourage your mum to come in and see her. It seems your mum needs assessment on her health and the faster you can do this the quicker your mother will be able to cope. Let us know how you get on.

Thank you so much Sue,
I dont know how easy it is going to be because she doesnt realise she has changed but I will find a way of starting this conversation with her and see if I can get her to go to the docs.
Do you recognise this at all, there are other things, I didnt want to go into overload on my very first post but while she is here she follows me round like a little child. My kids used to do this when they were pre school and i remembered that I couldnt even go to the loo without them clamouring behind the door to get in and be with me and it was when this same thing happened with my mom that I heard alarm bells and searched for some help and found this site. I feel betyter abput seeking a professional opinion after reading your post because I have never heard anyone speak of anything like this before.
Thank you again Sue, its good advice.
Bella, there are a number of conditions that could cause such a change in character and it would be wrong to guess: I think Sue has the best idea - take your Mum to the doctor but make sure they know what she was like before this happened.
Bella the same thing happened to my Mum when she lost her second husband. She drove us all mad talking from morning till night non stop! My wife took her to the Doctors who gave her some Diazipam to calm her down. It did help quite a bit.

As Charles says though a number of things can cause this kind of behavioural change. A similar thing happened to my wife in 2006 when she had a number of Tia's Mini strokes. She also couldn't stop talking, DAY and NIGHT. Sue's is the best advice. See the GP as quickly as possible.

Lots of luck Bella

Thank you everyone,
It is a real comfort to now that this has happened to other people. I know that is perhaps not the best response bearing in mind the possible implications for her health but it is good to know that this will probably not be the first time the doctor will have heard this complaint.
I have written a letter to her doctor, I am going to post it in the morning and try to make plans to go over and take her there. I live 150 miles away so it will need an overnight stay but writing first was a good suggestion to prepare them for what to look for as the odds are that her symptoms would be misunderstood as simple nervous chttiness rather than a constant feature of every waking minute.#I will keep you posted how things go. many thanks sagain.
Good luck Bella, I hope everything goes well for you both. Let us know how you get on.
Karen x
do you have an update on this? was wondering how you got along Image
still waiting to hear back from her doctor. They asked me to write in and explain things in a letter to the doc and he would get back and either chat it over or suggest an appointrment. Havent heard back yet. They were really nice on the phone though and I got the idea they wrere just being thorough, the doc knows my address and will be able to check from my letter if it is a genuine inquiry.
Thank s again everyone.
Good Morning to those who were so helpful on this thread and supportive too.
I was not going to go any further with this because on discovering what the main source of the problem was I felt like a fraud but hey, this might be relevent to someone else so I am posting the outcome anyway.
After preliminary letters and going over to see her doctor it appeard that her liver somethings were very high and it seemed to me that the Doctor was holding back as though waiting for me to offer more but I was at a loss and asked him to just go for it.
He asked me directly if my mother drank and I said not to my knowledge.
He said that her results indicated something taking its toll on her liver and she was not on any medication so could it be that she was drinking without our knowledge.
Shortly after that she came over to stay and armed with this piece of knowledge I approached things from a more vigilant perspective watching what she did etc.
Well, the doctor was right.
She has turned to drink and is drinking secretly and what we are dealing with is someone who is sozzled all the while.
I feel very embarrased at wasting the doctors time with this and I never thought of this because it has not been her lifestyle before.
I know there are people here who have genuine reasons for their relatives similar actions and would not like anyone to think I am trying to belittle the very real other causes of this but in this case I am afraid we are dealing with an illness of a different sort.
I have to say I have very little sympathy with this because of the other things going on in my life as a carer so I have asked her not to come over again unless she was going to leave the drink at home.
Her conduct was so bad on her last visit that i think she realised it was showing and settled for that and has not attempted to make any further arrangements so her choice is clear in this.
I cant thank you all enough for your concern and support though through a very worrying time of uncertainty.
God Bless all of you.
Best Wishes,