Don't know which way to turn

[Debra_16011]

Hi this is in addition to my previous post regarding my schizophrenic son. I seem to be in an impossible situation right now. My son is having paranoid thoughts , panic attacks and constantly in tears. Both he and I know it's due to his taking these drugs and he totally wishes he hasn't now. This is bringing back dreadful memories for my husband from 10 years ago when my son was sectioned. My husband had a complete breakdown and we very nearly broke up over it. So my husband is angry with me now and not speaking to me as he feels we should be spending quality time together as we both work for the nhs and it's very stressful. But how can i let my son struggle alone ? My husband says he brought it on himself and he is right but it's going against all my instincts not to help him. I think my husband would be ok if my son was staying in his own flat but he stayed here last night and woke us every 2 hours so its very difficult to cope with . Sorry for rant but just don't know how to handle this. My husband is not my son's dad

[bowlingbun]

A very difficult situation indeed.

I'm afraid I can't offer any ideas to help, my son has learning difficulties and our parents needed care as they became elderly.

As a carer, you are entitled to a Carers Assessment from Social Services, but I'm not sure how long that would take because of the current Lockdown situation.

[Londonbound]

As a mother it is your maternal instincts to help your son, your husband as you say is not your sons father so there is not as close a emotional bond.

Has your son not got a mental health team, care co-ordinator he or you can contact?

You should have a mental health crisis team in your area, often a 24 hour number, you can contact them them and they can arrange appropriate help for your son.

Your son knew it was wrong to take the drugs and knew the effects, you all need the right help to move on and get back to normal, I say normal but no one is having a normal life at the moment, back to a stable life?

Every Mental health Trust/hospital will have a PALS team, patient liason team, contact them see what help they can provide for you and your son.

[Debra_16011]

My son is under the mental health team and I contacted them today she spoke at length to him and gave him numbers for a 24/7 helpline which is good. He has gone to spend the night at a friend's tonight so my husband relaxed thinking we could spend some time together. How wrong was he my son left here an hour ago and I have had 2 phone calls already as he is panicking which then takes time to calm him down . I have a feeling we're in for a bad night !

[bowlingbun]

Would it be safe to turn the phone off for a while?
I get the feeling that you and your husband need some time and space together, alone.

[Debra_16011]

We did turn our phones off last night as we were beyond exhausted! The house phone woke me at 5 and he had tried ringing a couple of times prior to this. I tried ringing back but his phone was out of battery so I eventually went back to sleep till 8 . When I phoned him this morning had managed about 3 hours of sleep which was an improvement and he sounded better in himself. The test will be today as I can't answer his phone calls in work so keeping my fingers crossed he will be ok

[bowlingbun]

If he is desperate at night he needs to ring the numbers he's been given, not you.
Until you take control of this you will have no peace.
He is an adult, not a child. You have a right to a quiet night.

[Debra_16011]

I know you're right bowling bun and it's almost a relief to be told that but it's really difficult to do he is so scared he is shaking but I need to be strong or I'll be I'll myself

[Robert_2011123]

This is a very difficult situation, I hope you can solve your problem.