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Doctors don't understand - Carers UK Forum

Doctors don't understand

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
Hi all,
About three months ago my wife went into Hemel Hempstead General as she had a lot of pain in her stomach, I arrived there about 8.30 in the evening, after lots of tests they decided to keep her in over night, my wife gets very agitated in hospital and I asked if they could give her something to calm her down if she gets to worked up as she suffers from a mental illness, half way through the night, my wife was getting in such a state that they called in someone from Albany Lodge (a mentally ill care home) without the the thought of contacting me (next of Kin) for any advise, my wife was really shocked when they turned up as she was being treated for something physical and not mental, I was really furious when I found out, when I went to see my wife in hospital, she was a nervous reck by the way in which she had been treated, I wrote a very long complaint letter to the head, they spent more time looking at her mental health than her stomach, my GP wasn't very happy about this either.
I think that doctors should be trained in mental health as well as physical health, so they would know what to expect if this situation was to arise again and how to deal with it, a lot of them don't know what it is let alone trying to treat it, it took me nearly the whole of the following day trying to calm my wife down as she was in so much shock.
ah Mark, this needs to be adressed and I am going through things myself at the moment,. My husband was in BRI because of his heart, they didn't know how to treat his anxiety and I could see he was heading for a manic episode, but boy did I have a fight on my hands with the consultant looking after him.

now hes in the phyciatric unit hospital 6 yrs on after having a bi polar episode and now I am fighting the consultant there to understand his physical well being let alone they think hes well enough to come home already!! so yes, these people 'proffessionals' need to be educated and who better than the carers themselves, I would love to sit them all down and explain some things to them and one of the sentences would be


it causes us MORE stress doesnt it
Gad I've only just read this post. I've had a life time of fighting the "profesionals" over Jill's mental illness versus her pysycal illness's. They nearly let her die in 1975 when she had Hepatitious, convinced it was just nerves again!!!!! It took me to notice her yellow eyes to wake them up. The same thing has happened just recently with her gall stones. They operated eventually after I took her twice to A&E to find the cause of her stomache ache.
Thats the big draw back with someone with a history of mental illness. The health "experts" always think they know best. It makes me hopping mad at times. I'm the last one to make a fuss and I find it really hard, exhausting work to fight the system and the "profesionals". They always think they know better than we carers and they damn well dont, at least not with our carees they dont! Image

They always think they know better than we carers and they damn well dont, at least not with our carees they dont!
Very true Pete!!!! Makes you feel as though you are talking to a brick wall.
Had issues when mum-in-law went into hospital with gallstones. Every time previously she'd ended up being carted off to the local mental health hospital because she can't cope with large numbers of people (old style wards). She was becoming more and more agitated and was told that if she didn't calm down she'd be sent to the mental health hospital...now I don't get on with ma-in-law (never have) but this was bullying. I pointed it out and explained what she was struggling with - then suggested she be moved to a side room. And that if the threat was carried out I would be making a formal complaint about her treatment on the ward.

She was moved to a side room.
I think we must be very lucky - Mum's GP is brilliant. Because of her dementia she tends to immediately forget what she has been told, so hardly ever remembers what her meds are for (osteoporosis, blood pressure, gout, dementia etc) but he is patience itself when dealing with her and will happily go through the list with her on each visit. He also listens to what I tell him about any new symptom and arranges for tests etc. He never dismisses any of our concerns out of hand. Beause of his attitude she is always very happy to see him and considers him her friend, which, in turn, makes it easier for him to treat her.
If it wasn't for my GP my son would be dead. Sounds dramatic but it is true. He listened when the so called specialists didn't. God bless him.

think we must be very lucky
We have also been blessed with a wonderful, understanding GP, she has never let time get in the way, an absolute gem.
The last time my son was rushed in, we were not told that the staff expected him to die, even though I was phoning regularly.Because of my other caring roles, I could not get over there then, but could have kicked an emergency plan into action, had I been told. As it was, I was informed that he had walked to the ambulance, so assumed I had time to organise the needs of my other son.

The first admission this year, the paramedics picked him up from the house, and said they did not believe he had keto-acidosis,(complication of diabetes,and potentailly fatal). They did not treat him as having this, as they did not believe me, so they put his life at more risk.He was diagnosed with this, when he was seen by a Dr.

The second admission this year, he again had the same, but I took him to hospital.Never again. He was having so much diiffculty breathing that other patients and relatives asked if they could do anything, and the nurses still ignored him, and when he was eventually seen, the nurse ignored everything I said to her. I walked out in the end, and told her I would wait outside, and she could come and get me when she needed me. You can't even get cross with the staff, or raise your voice, or they will have the police in there!I talked to one old scared lady the next day,who had raised her voice in A and E, and the police were called, and believe it or not, they are taking her to court, for raising her voice to staff that were trying to help her.

My son has been rushed in three times since March this year, and the illness is self-inflictaed, yet I cannot get the Drs to take me seriously. They see the Diabetes and depression as two separate needs, not that they overlap. perhaps if they saw their child in Intensive Care three times in as many months, and six times within three years, they would listen.
ah dont get me started on my soap box Image i've been married to my hubby for 26yrs and its been terrible fighting the 'proffessionals' who know better than us our spouces,. they think after them 'knowing them for a few days, they have insight to EVERYTHING OHHHHHHH dont get me started Image