Difficult, heartbreaking choices
Posted: Fri Apr 24, 2020 1:39 pm
So, my situation in a nutshell... I’ve been with my husband almost 20 years, we met when I was 18 and got married a few years later. We’ve had ups and downs like any other couple, but 9 years into our relationship things went horribly wrong and he was diagnosed with Schizophrenia.. it was an awful few years but we somehow made it to the other side and he is relatively stable. We didn’t have children, because with all that going on it was impossible, and I now find myself in a very difficult position. Our relationship has of course been adversely effected. It’s not perfect but it’s comfortable.. we hardly ever argue, but we sleep in separate rooms.. you get the picture.. the problem is I still want children and I’m now 38 so have very little time. My husband agreed that we could try but this is difficult when we don’t even have sex. I’ve contemplated my options... I can either try to have a child with my husband (but there are no guarantees) and accept this mediocre life... or I can separate from him for a chance at something more... but this would be a very big gamble... because what are the chances of meeting someone nice that also wants a family at this late stage of our lives. But most importantly, it would turn my husbands life upside down and he really has been through enough.. we both have. I guess I’m just posting this to see what other people’s opinions are, because I really don’t know what to.. I love my husband and it tears me up inside to think of leaving him.. but I really would like a family and a partner who desires me.