New to this forum (or any forum), but needing somewhere to come and offload and seek advice.

My husband, who I have been with has Bipolar which I have always known and in general has been manageable. But nearly two weeks ago he had a breakdown, resulting in him self harming. I had to contact the police (happened during early hours of the morning) to pick him up and bring him to hospital where he stayed all day waiting for an assessment from the Crisis Team. In fairness to the Crisis Team they have been really good, offering support when needed.

Last weekend my husband expressed that he was finding it too difficult to cope being at home with us as a family (his eldest daughter is 13, our son is 2 and daughter is 6 months) and wanted to 'run off to Europe). The best option was for me and the kids to stay at my parents and him at home so he was safe but could focus on getting better.

Well Wednesday, he decided that he'd had enough and wanted to end it. Instincts told me i had to get to him, and if i didn't he would have ended his life. Thankfully my husbands worker from Crisis was coming out that evening and he managed to talk to my husband and alleviate the situation, husband wanting us all home to get things back on track. So home we all came.

Friday, i had a bit of an emotional release and burst into tears. While comforting me,my husband turned around and said he felt nothing for me!!! The pain was immense. After much conversation he admitted that he feels numb about everyone, including his kids. Im scared that he will never love me again. I adore him, want to be with him, despite everything thats happened lately, but to hear he feels nothing for me has almost broken me.

Sorry for the rant, its hard to burden friends and family with this stuff because they don't fully understand.

D. X