“This is lovely. Absolutely. I have been telling myself that from the start. I'm more useful as a sane person then insane is also what I tell myself every day. My son does not need me all the time so I work part time.”

I think it’s not just a healthy thing to do, but is essential in coping with the uncertainty and irrationality of someone’s mental illness. We have to remain ourselves, and live our own lives, whilst caring for others. Carers are mostly selfless people, who put others’ needs first. I also believe that as women (I can only give my opinion of my own gender), we’re brought up to sacrifice ourselves for the family’s greater good, but I think that reasoning has to end once and for all. Women are made to feel selfish and as though we’re failures if we continue our lives or don’t sacrifice ourselves, and our own wellbeing in the pursuit of others’s wellness and happiness.
If I had continued on the path I was on when I first wrote on this forum, I genuinely believe I’d have been heading for a breakdown myself.
In getting stronger, more self-resilient and capable, I’ve created a woman, not just strong enough to help my ex get through his negative and delusional thoughts, but also one who is entirely ready to forge a new life for herself should I need to cut the rip-cord on this relationship.
I now see that my happiness should never be reliant on the knife-edge emotions of someone else.
My ex now knows that he’s lucky to have me still around, after the way his illness made him behave, and also knows that it’s his effort which is needed to resolve this. My ‘fixer’ belt is going back in my metaphorical drawer! If he needs me, he knows where I am, but until then, I’m continuing on my own journey.
Stay strong everyone: not for anyone else, but purely for yourselves. xx