Courses for carers of BPD sufferers?

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
Hi there. I am new here! My 20 year old daughter has Borderline Personality Disorder. I am at a loss as how to help her. She won't access help or treatment because she is too scared. I wondered if any one else has had difficulty in getting their loved one to attend appointments?

Does anyone know of any courses offered to carers about living with someone with BPD and how to manage it? I'm near Bristol - but would travel.

Thank you
I have seen other members here recommend the MIND website and also another site called Young Minds - perhaps either of those might give you some pointers ?
It's always endlessly worrying when our chlldren aren't happy, for whatever reason.

Do you have any idea of WHAT your daughter is scared about, in respect of seeking treatment?

Does she think 'they're going to take me away and put me in a straight jacket'?

My niece has chronic depression, and in her 'bad times' she always fears that she will be 'taken away and put in a mental ward'.....

With bitter irony, in fact, I tell my SIL that that is the LAST thing that will happen. Given how broke the NHS is, not even those who DESPERATELY need to be sectioned, and even WANT to be sectioned so they can get sufficient help and treatment, can't get it!

These days,you just about have to be running wild with an axe in your hand screaming your head off you're going to kill everyone, to actually GET sectioned. Places in psych words are FAR too expensive to 'waste' on anyone else (I'm being sarcastic, sigh).
OK, so if 'fear of sectioning' is, or isn't, haunting your daughter (but it wont happen because it's just about impossible to achiev)e, what else might be troubling her about seeking treatment?

You say she has BPD, but that surely implies that she has had, at some point, a formal diagnosis, so at some point she must have seen psychiatrists etc, in order to warrant that diagnosis??

So has she then subsequently rejected the treatment prescribed for her?

From my niece, I know the general 'drill' for MH of many kinds is that first of all they put you on meds, to 'stabilise' your moods, and only then do they send you for 'talking therapy' with psychiatrists/counsellor etc.

Is it, perhaps, that your daughter rejected the meds, and so never got to reach the counselling stage?

Or maybe she did, but didn't gel with the counsellor (it can take a few times to 'gel', plus, of course, not every counsellor is brilliant for every person - you may need to shop around to get one that suits you!)

Is she scared of being a pill-junkie, or being 'doped up to the eyeballs'?? This is a very reasonable fear, but I think the key thing is to emphasise that pills are a STEPPIGN STONE. They form a bridge over troubled water, to help us get 'to the other side' where life is better. The pills are there to 'use' - eg, mood stabilise - but it is the talking therapy that is going to 'do the real work'.

Yes, for some MH-folk, pills MAY be 'lifelong' if their purpose is to 'compensate' for brain chemicals that are being under or over produced - in that sense they function just like insulin does for a diabetic. They perform the same task that a 'natural chemical' would do in the brain, which, for some reason, in the MH person their brain is not producing (or producing, say, too much of the opposite chemical).

But only in those cases are pills something to 'live on' for the rest of your life......and they are not being added as 'extras' to your brain, but as 'top ups' so to speak, of what your brain SHOULD be producing, but can't, for whatever reasons we mostly still don't understand.

There is also, too, the constant hope that the complex interaction between 'mind', 'self', 'will' and 'brain' could result in pills, and talking therapy, actually help to 'heal' the brain which can then be 'triggered' into producing sufficient of its own 'happy chemicals' (to use a general term!!!!!).

'Healing' is a difficult term to define, and it can come in many, many forms. If pills and pyschs can help us 'heal' and have happier lives, then surely they are our 'friends' not our 'enemy' and we should not be scared of them?

Wishing your daughter, and you, all the best possible in a concerning situation.
Susieq - thanks! I found a course at Mind in London I can go on in July. In addition I found there is a local Mind drop in morning in a little town near me.
Jenny - She did have a clash with a MH nurse who said "I understand you have "issues" " (which daughter found patronizing) and then the nurse discussed my daughter's treatment outside the waiting room. She also hates the "medical gaze" when they say nothing to try to provoke you to "open up". She sees through them!
She is scared of tests, buildings, things she doesn't yet know (like new counsellors), failing. She takes the world on her shoulders - meat eating, cruelty to animals...
She is scared of the dulling feeling medication gives you.Therefore she stopped anti-depressants.
We had a meltdown/outburst last night. Today she is more receptive to seeking treatment and the possibility of repeating the college year.
I also worry about the effect it has on my 17 yr old son - attention always directed towards my daughter.
I've changed GP - previous GP was a family friend which made lines too blurred - we have an appointment at the new surgery this week and she has agreed to see the private counsellor if I sit in the first appointment with her.
Thanks for your support.