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Consequences of going to gp with an injury? - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

Consequences of going to gp with an injury?

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
This is just me venting so no need to respond & it will probably be long.
It’s 6am & I haven’t been to bed yet .
Daughter haS had problems with benefits. Seems to have been sorted in last few days, phone calls & texts, but no letter of confirmation yet so she is panicking.
Been a really rough few days. Hours of waiting on the phone to DWP, her panicking, dad needing help & daughter just won’t leave me alone. I can’t go 30 minutes without her telling me everything that is going on with her body or needing me to do something.

But you know what bothers me the most? Her constant complaints that what I do for her is not right or good enough. Sorry, we ‘talked’ about this today & she said it’s not complaints, it’s criticism & I should be able to accept criticism. What?!?! When I mentioned it days ago & she asked what I expect, I said I expect her to say thank you & eat her food or not, she said that is not normal.
I cook for her 2 to 3 times a day. Every time she will tell me what is wrong with her food & question if it’s ok & safe to eat. She has scrambled eggs & toast every afternoon & every afternoon she ‘criticises’. Mostly because she ‘needs’ it to be exactly the same every time.

I make her evening meal every night. I hate doing it. We’re now at the point where it’s the same thing most nights. Thing is, she doesn’t want to eat until 8 or 9 pm, or even later. So I’ve kind of made something for myself & then have to start again. And by the time she’s finished, getting more an hour or so later, I’m too tired to clear up. This means every morning I’m faced with a pile of washing up. I hate it.

Tonight, like many nights, she has given me a tirade of abuse & accusations. “I shouldn’t have had her if I can’t cope with her.” I don’t care about her, I do nothing to support her, (mostly emotionally), I am vile & horrible etc, etc.

She also complained I drink too much. She’s right, I do, now. But when she wasn’t living here I didn’t. She said I’m horrible when I’ve had a drink. I’m not horrible, but maybe say things I would normally keep inside. Trust me, there’s lots I don’t say. But even though she’s saying this & says she knows it’s not a good time to talk to me, & I’ve said it’s not a good time, she sits down & has a go at me for an hour. An hour of someone telling you you’re not good enough, you’re vile & say disgusting hurtful things, when you’re just trying to get through each day saying as little as possible so you don’t provoke a reaction.
I desperately need some time to myself. When I have some time alone I am so much more able to deal with her & help her. Being ‘available ‘ 24/7 is killing me.
Anyway, got that out of my system. Now 7am, hopefully bed soon.
Thanks
X
Another rant/vent.
I am struggling so much right now. One of the worst things? It’s coming up to the 1st anniversary of my mam’s death. It’s really hard & she’s been on my mind so much lately, I miss her terribly. I don’t care that she had Alzheimer’s for 10 years, I don’t care that she was in a home for 2 years, I don’t even care that a lot of the time she thought I was her cousin, not her daughter , we still had a connection, she still smiled & hugged me every day, we still talked, laughed & sang. I just miss my mam.
It’s now when I could really do with being alone, let my feelings out, cry without worrying about the effect on those around me. I haven’t had that since she died. I am ‘the one to turn to’ for my dad, my daughter & to an extent my sibling who lives abroad. It’s all down to me & I’m tired & overwhelmed.
Anyway, my thoughts/feelings today
Take care all
X
I have very great sympathy with you here Karen: I can identify with the simple need to cry. Occasionally, when I feel it's safe to do so, I'll retreat to my room and listen to a song from the past. If I'm lucky(!) the tears will come and I'll feel just that bit of relief I needed.

I know our situations are different but, if possible, let the tears go.

Take care, David
David4 wrote:
Tue Jul 28, 2020 11:40 pm
I have very great sympathy with you here Karen: I can identify with the simple need to cry. Occasionally, when I feel it's safe to do so, I'll retreat to my room and listen to a song from the past. If I'm lucky(!) the tears will come and I'll feel just that bit of relief I needed.

I know our situations are different but, if possible, let the tears go.

Take care, David
Thank you, not much more I can say.
Hope you are well & I’ll try
X
Good luck Karen. The more I've posted here the less I've felt the overwhelming need to cry that was really getting the better of me again about 4 or 5 weeks ago.

Best wishes, David
David4 wrote:
Sun Aug 02, 2020 2:04 pm
Good luck Karen. The more I've posted here the less I've felt the overwhelming need to cry that was really getting the better of me again about 4 or 5 weeks ago.

Best wishes, David
I hope things are still a little better for you
X
Hello Karen

Only yesterday mum and I took advantage of the weather and I wheeled her along the seafront. It was the first time we'd been out together in over two years and she really enjoyed herself. Is there anyway you could enjoy some time outside with your daughter?

I do understand how light my responsibilities are when I read of others' problems here. My mother asks very little of me, if anything, and that makes me feel very guilty about feeling depressed and joining the forum. But without offence, I think you really do need a bit of time for yourself.

Even those two hours yesterday cheered me up.

Good luck with everything, and thank you for your kind wishes, David