[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 585: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 641: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
Consequences of going to gp with an injury? - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Consequences of going to gp with an injury?

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
I would buy a caravan Porta Potti and put it in her room for her.

She cannot be allowed to carry on like this in your home.
Long term she is going to have to manage to live without you.
I'm dismayed that she went all through school without diagnosis.
bowlingbun wrote:
Sat Jun 27, 2020 5:26 am
I would buy a caravan Porta Potti and put it in her room for her.

She cannot be allowed to carry on like this in your home.
Long term she is going to have to manage to live without you.
I'm dismayed that she went all through school without diagnosis.
If only it was that simple, has to be the right height, shape etc.

She was first referred to CAMHS age 3. They were worse than useless. I was sent to parenting classes, (which I passed with flying colours) while they chatted to her while saying ‘We’re not going to talk about anything she’s uncomfortable with’. Told some techniques to try, one of which, active ignoring, resulted in her getting a kitchen knife & picking at my clothes with it saying ‘are you going to take notice of me now’. When I told them her response & that I wouldn’t do that again, they replied that I was choosing not to use a method they suggested. She was 9.
When assessed for Autism, I was told she has traits, particularly sensory, but not Autistic. When I asked why I have to walk on eggshells all the time, she replied, “Well maybe that’s your problem”
I had to leave.
Trying to get help for her to live independently is my biggest problem. It seems that unless I kick her out no-one will give help. What I want is help now to get her able to do that.
Sorry, ranting again. It’s been a long slog on my own.
Hope all ok with you
X
I was also labeled a bad mother for years, despite my eldest son being well spoken and perfectly behaved. I've had 41 years of battles, it's ruined my health and my husband died of a heart attack, and still the struggle continues. It's a really lonely life.
bowlingbun wrote:
Tue Jun 30, 2020 3:55 am
I was also labeled a bad mother for years, despite my eldest son being well spoken and perfectly behaved. I've had 41 years of battles, it's ruined my health and my husband died of a heart attack, and still the struggle continues. It's a really lonely life.
I’m so sorry, truly. I understand what it’s like & not sure how you’ve managed to continue.
Yes, it’s a very lonely life. My only aim at the moment is to get through each day, I know you get that.
I hope things are ok for you just now. Take care of yourself
X
Karen

I think its a common thing for professionals to suggest a parenting course...happened to me too.

I refused to go.

One of my sons was diagnosed with autism and one a learning disability.

I challenge any parent of a neurological child/young adult to deal with what we have to!

The exhaustion and fighting for what they need is endless.

Also, I have noticed professionals seem to think its fun to pile extra work on too.. in the form of admin.

I am exhausted and I don't get woken in the night..so it must be tough for you.
Cloudygal wrote:
Sun Jul 12, 2020 4:34 pm
Karen

I think its a common thing for professionals to suggest a parenting course...happened to me too.

I refused to go.

One of my sons was diagnosed with autism and one a learning disability.

I challenge any parent of a neurological child/young adult to deal with what we have to!

The exhaustion and fighting for what they need is endless.

Also, I have noticed professionals seem to think its fun to pile extra work on too.. in the form of admin.

I am exhausted and I don't get woken in the night..so it must be tough for you.
Thanks, I did the parenting classes thinking “I need to show willing & they’ll see I’m not an idiot”.
Wish I hadn’t bothered. The minute I said ‘That doesn’t work for me because she doesn’t react the way you expect.”, I was written off. Though when role playing I was told I was great.
I despair, I really do. I’ve felt despair for such a long time & it only gets worse. Been a horrible day today & still continuing. Nothing I do is ever right or good enough. Nothing from her but anger, frustration, irritability & tears. She cries every day, at least twice, today may be a record. & she doesn’t just cry, she wails, howls & screams & talks about how no-one cares about her. In the meantime
I’m trying to do everything for her, with no thanks & also look after my dad.
I realise I may sound heartless, but I just can’t do it anymore. If I didn’t care I would have kicked her out years ago. She has her own place to go to, but I know she cannot cope now.
Sorry, been a sh***y day
X
Have you recorded her crying all day?
I did a lot of crying after my husband died, of course, it's hugely draining. Surely she can have some medication to help her?
It must be tearing you apart to listen to her, I'm sure you feel like having a good howl too?!
bowlingbun wrote:
Thu Jul 16, 2020 11:58 am
Have you recorded her crying all day?
I did a lot of crying after my husband died, of course, it's hugely draining. Surely she can have some medication to help her?
It must be tearing you apart to listen to her, I'm sure you feel like having a good howl too?!
I’m sorry, your husband’s death must have been terrible for you, a huge blow.

She’s always cried every day. I tried recording her once when she was about 8. She managed to grab my phone from me, run outside & throw it in the wheelie bin. If I’m honest, I’m at the point where I just can’t bear hearing it anymore.
She won’t take medication. She saw a gastro consultant over a year ago who prescribed meds. She still hasn’t taken any. He told her recently that she’ll end up in hospital if she doesn’t take them, she still won’t.
She’s been treated for a benign growth on her pituitary gland, hasn’t taken her meds for that for over a year.
She’s too scared of possible side effects. Nothing I say makes any difference. Nothing I do makes any difference. Trust me, I’ve tried everything..

Anyway, hope you are well
X
That's a heart breaking situation. I really don't know what to say, but couldn't ignore your message.
The only way out is to help herself, but from what you describe she is too ill to be able to do that?

The NHS can do miraculous things with physical problems, but still can't do much for the brain.
My son was brain damaged at birth, I'm forever explaining to people how this affects him, even the Learning Disability Health Team don't seem to understand. He's two people in one, half normal 41 year old man, half toddler who can't read, write, do any maths, manage his money.
bowlingbun wrote:
Wed Jul 22, 2020 8:19 am
That's a heart breaking situation. I really don't know what to say, but couldn't ignore your message.
The only way out is to help herself, but from what you describe she is too ill to be able to do that?

The NHS can do miraculous things with physical problems, but still can't do much for the brain.
My son was brain damaged at birth, I'm forever explaining to people how this affects him, even the Learning Disability Health Team don't seem to understand. He's two people in one, half normal 41 year old man, half toddler who can't read, write, do any maths, manage his money.

You see, in your first paragraph you have grasped & explained the problem precisely. Why is it so difficult to get ‘professionals ‘ to understand?
And family, ugh! I have 1 sibling, who lives abroad, who has said numerous times, “I don’t get it & I probably never will.” :( If I say anything to my Dad, which I try not to, it’s always the same response, “Oh, I thought she was getting better.” This from the man who suggested, when daughter was 7, that it was ‘Time to give her up.’.

Indeed, the brain is still very much a mystery & doesn’t the constant explaining get tiresome?! I feel for you, you’ve had a long time caring & it’s hard. I hope you’re getting the support you want. My apologies, I’m unable to spend much time on here to read more about your circumstances.
Your replies are most welcome though & gratefully received
Take care
X