Caring for husband

[Julie_18081]

Hi all i am new to this but i have caring for my husband for over a year now and he is now getting the help he needs. He has is CPN that see him and therapy and i help the best way i can. But not find anyone who is there for me when i need it. He try killing himself and i was there for him when nobody else was but when he blame me for him doing it and should of let him die

[G Fraser_1612]

Sorry hear your situation Julie.

First person I'd reach out to is your GP. They may have a 'listening service' within practise which is a chance to get things off your chest. Even if they don't should be able signpost you. Perhaps to counselling that has a pay by donation policy? It sounds like you need some professional help to assist you in understanding you are not to blame for so's suicide attempt especially that he was unable to complete it.

Also consider looking into any carer 'befriending' schemes in your area.

Finally, have you thought about getting away, even if just overnight? So you can process things? Even if this means someone else staying over with your husband (a sibling perhaps if he has any?)

[Elizabeth _1808]

Hi, my name is Liz and I do understand what you are going through Julie.At the weekend just gone, I had to had to go on a rest bite break, and as I was away, my husband was so low that he too tried to kill himself so I come home from my break just so that I could be there for him. I have been caring for my husband for 2 years and yes it is hard especially when you don't have anyone to talk too.This chat thing is new to me but I just want someone to talk to, someone like you, that knows what it is like and how tough things can get.I need to hear from someone who can say that, yes I know what you are feeling because I have been there myself and not for someone to talk about to me but has not been through themselves. And in my eyes, they DON'T know what it is like in real life and yes ,it can be very lonely, that i really do understand.I would very much like to keep in contact with you Julie because it sounds like, you are going through exactly the same things, at this moment ,that I am going through myself.I have to go for now because my husband is very upset and I need to be there for him.You take care and I hope that we can chat again soon.

[Julie_18081]

Hi liz it is nice to know that are not alone and would love to keep in contact with you. As yet not able to take a break as i have no body to look after my husband. People forget the carers and what we go through. Just like you not had many people to chat with. Hope to hear back from you soon

[Julie_18081]

Hi G freasr i have look in my area but can't find much. I will try my GP and i have got a silbing but she to young to look after him.

[Elizabeth _1808]

Hi Julie, Liz hear,, it was so very nice hearing from you so soon. Like you I am crying out for someone just to talk to and I am glad that now we have each other. Because as I said before, like you I too need someone to talk to. I understand what you are going through and how you are feeling and yes I too feel lonely and isolated.I would very much like it if we could also have a private conversation through What's App or by personal e-mail. I can give you my private e-mail address and then when can exchange phone numbers. Hope to hear from you soon.

email address removed to protect posters privacy
https://www.carersuk.org/forum/forum-gu ... ails-15371

[Elizabeth _1808]

Hi Julie, Liz again, I would advise you to see you GP and ask for a "prescription ", I got 1 from my GP and then the Carerstrust got in contact with me and I organised for someone from there to come to my home a few times a day , manely cos my husband can't be bothered to cook for himself and just so he could have some conversation. I know things didn't go to plan this time but I was told that this time was partly because my husband had just started to take a new medication. But unfortunately, the voice that he hears, was telling him to commit suicide and that's when he needs me. How is you husband

[Elizabeth _1808]

Hi Julie Liz here , hi G Fraser ,how are you both today ? I hope all is a bit better for you today Julie . Like I think you're husband is like mine , they have good days and bad days and for my husband , yesterday morning was bad for him. After I had spoke to him , he started to calm down and the rest of the day , he was fine. But again like you , my conversation with my husband , I just said what I thought was the right things to say. I haven't been told how to cope with these kind of situations , I don't even know what really is the right or wrong things to say. But I do hope that , well if there is anything that you would like to discuss with on a personal level , then my e-mail address is there and we can talk , even
by phone , What's App and it will be just between you and I cos at times ,for my there are things that I want to say and chat in private but also still chat in this group. That care Julie

[Jo_1808]

Hi Julie, G Fraser and Liz

I also cate for my husband. He has been admitted to the psychiatric ward in our local hospital again.

It is very difficult to live this way, none of us said "I do for this".

This started 3 years ago and I am SO tired with it all.

Sorry about the glum introduction, I am feeling really crap about it all.

Xx

[Elizabeth _1808]

Hi Jo , Liz here,
I really do know what you too are going through. When my husband was first diagnosed, I got all the help for him that I could master . If he had his own way , he would be doing this on his own , which we all know , that just can't be done. He is now on the ( hopefully ) right medication to help him a bit. When he was diagnosed, I was told that I too was just as important as my husband was simply cos we are living together . But I too have had no support what so ever in 2 years and like you , I am sooo tried. I did have a rest bite break , but it was not the happy ending that I would have won't. You sound just how I feel , drained. I would love to still chat with you in this group and privately to , I so much would love just someone to talk to , someone who knows what I am feeling. My e-mail you can see and then we can exchange phone numbers and chat to our hearts content. We don't even have to talk about our problems all the time , just a personal chat would nice.