Carer for Husband with severe anxiety and depression

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
Hi All,

I am on here for support as it is hard when you have lost the original person you fell in love with to mental illness, can nayone relate?

I often feel angry, frustrated, and that I have failed in some way (which I know is not true)

I think the most challenging part is knowing when the illness is speaking, and when your partner is unwell with self-neglect, anger and hurtful words, as they hate themselves and dont understand why someone wants to love them, which makes it sadder.

The isolation is immense for us carers, as I find family and friends do not understand. No one understands unless they are living it. I refuse to through the towel in. We will get there!
Hi Battling against it
Welcome
I can only relate to your situation in a way.My lovely husband is in a nursing home because of strokes and vascular dementia. He is no longer the man I fell in love with 51+ years ago. Both the strokes and the dementia are taking him from me slowly. Feel I am failing him, abandoning him when l leave him and fight the guilt monster constantly. We are not to blame for the demise of our loved ones and have to remind ourselves of that. Yes, I get frustrated and cross. Less cross with him as it's not his fault either. Cross and sad that our retirement is like this.
Others will be along with support and advice for you I'm sure.
My heart goes out to you
Hi Battlin
Yes there's many of us.
I have not got time to say more now, but do recommend you search or browse the mental health threads in here.
You are not alone!
Perhaps MIND an ideal starting point ... the leading , supporting , organisation in this specialised field :

https://www.mind.org.uk/

Been on the block since 1946.
Hi.

I know roughly what you mean - my wife has been there on and off for the last 20+ years.
There are many good times in there, but in my case the last 4 years have been pretty unrelenting.
Almost all the people I have met over they years have recovered.

Take care of yourself, first and foremost. I didn't at one point and that made everything so much harder.
And find someone who will give you a hug every now and then - often when you least expect, but most need, it.
My friends still don't understand, but I have found that keeping my own social life is critical to keeping a sense of perspective.

Over the years I have lurked on and off in here, and often all I wanted was to know that I wasn't alone.


Most of all, I miss holding a hand. Strange how it is the little things that matter more..
Just enough wrote:
Tue Feb 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Hi.

I know roughly what you mean - my wife has been there on and off for the last 20+ years.
There are many good times in there, but in my case the last 4 years have been pretty unrelenting.
Almost all the people I have met over they years have recovered.

Take care of yourself, first and foremost. I didn't at one point and that made everything so much harder.
And find someone who will give you a hug every now and then - often when you least expect, but most need, it.
My friends still don't understand, but I have found that keeping my own social life is critical to keeping a sense of perspective.

Over the years I have lurked on and off in here, and often all I wanted was to know that I wasn't alone.


Most of all, I miss holding a hand. Strange how it is the little things that matter more..
We give virtual hugs on here (((hug))).
Maybe we need a handhold symbol too :idea:

Welcome Just Enough. Hope the lurking has helped
Kr
MrsA