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Big trip/potential set back

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2018 6:24 am
by Mellissa_1810
Hello

I’m going on a trip with my fiancé today but I’m really worried it’s going to make his anxiety worse. He says there is no option not to and that not going is giving in and will make it worse and I know that’s true but I’m worried that by forcing this it’s going to end up with him having a panic attack and being unable to cope.

It’s an hours journey away and He’s insisting on driving us even though he hasn’t driven in a month and I’m worried that if he does what if he’s unable to drive us home or is it just dangerous to let him drive to begin with is his anxiety is through the roof,I can drive but he’s refusing to let me and I can’t drive his car and we are going to be an hour away from home. So if it goes badly I worry he won’t be in a fit state to drive us and I’m not insured to drive other cars.

He’s waking up hyperventilating and I’ve told him we don’t have to go but he’s refusing not to. I’m not sure if I should be allowing this or I should refuse to do it which I know will make everything worse but by going could potentially make it worse/be dangerous.

Anyone got any advice?

Re: Big trip/potential set back

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2018 6:30 am
by bowlingbun
I understand why you are anxious, but surely you have to let him try now it's got this far. An hour's drive isn't very far, so he can stop every ten minutes if need be, but he does need your encouragement, because it's very important for all of us to do things slightly outside our comfort zone, and achieve.

However, in future, I do think you need to make sure that you can drive his car, and vice versa. It's silly not to be on each other's insurances, because you never know when either of you might be incapacitated.

Re: Big trip/potential set back

Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2018 10:22 pm
by Bella_4515
How did you get on Melissa?

I can imagine that was really, really difficult. I read your post and could definitely imagine it happening to me and my partner - I would feel very torn too. I hope it worked out for the best and you were both safe.
I do agree it's crucial to be able to "take the reigns" so add getting yourself on to his car to the to-do list, just in case. x