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bangin your head against a brick wall - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

bangin your head against a brick wall

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
I don`t always get online long enough to scroll down the entire front page and since there have been more topic headings added it means I seldom get to the bottom of the page. When I first joined the forum there were fewer headings so more posts read and answered.

Mental health is a big issue for me, mum and granny both having been affected by it, and I spent 22 years in an asylum (working I have to add, although it was said the only difference between me and the patients was that I got to go home at night, but sometimes the shifts were so long I would have happily camped out)

Take care
Meg
Hi Goose

I totally understand how you feel.

I look after my husband for 8 years and he is currently having a crisis. He had another sleepless night last night and being suicidal again. It really hurts seeing him like that, and it gets harder and harder for me to cope after having some stable months every time a little longer than before.

I am not regular member in this forum. I cannot check this forum every day...I do not feel posting some times...I do not have enough time to read the posts and reply...but you are not alone!

"bangin your head against a brick wall" - I have this feeling all that time especially since I got involved in local implementation team for Carers and Service users. Politics and one meeting to the other...Things are changing but very very slowly. One or two hours meeting but I can use this time for myself...

I wrote a letter to my MP regarding CA. I have not recieved a reply from him yet. What he can do for us? We need better support now. It took few weeks to complete the letter and I feel exhausted.

Am I waisting my time?
Many long-term carers I know have a reputation for being "difficult" with the authorities. Actually it's the long-term stress coming out - they've heard the excuses before, they've heard the promises without delivery, they're still in there fighting for everything. And so often, it feels like nobody is

Oh how I agree with that statement above! I am one of those "difficult" people Image
does being difficult mean that we want the best for the people we care for, or is it that we are tired of being told that we dont understand by people who go home at five, dont do weekends and have never lived with the emotional rolla costa of emotions that come with caring fosomeone with mental health problems. If so then i shall carry on being difficult Image .take care everyone and keep on being difficult.
Hello Goose, I am new here and understand every word of what you have said. I am very isolated where we live now, we can't afford to get the car on the road and my partner is not in a place to socialise. His family don't really get involved as he has made it clear he wants them to stay away. It upsets me sometimes how this illness has made me feel so alone. My partner is also not in a postion in his head to conduct a normal 'girlfriend/boyfriend relationship in all ways, course I understand this but its hard when all I want is a cuddle and some support off the man I love Image

When we had the psyche doc come round my partner was kind of dysphorically manic, angry and irritable. The doc was so intent on giving just the antidepressants, even I could see what was coming had he just taken those. My partner stormed out of the house, and it took me to shouting at the doctor in frustration that he will just go up and up if he took those. I said to the |Doc 'If you don't help him I will end up being one of your patients' And I meant it! Eventually he prescribed the antipsychotics too. God knows where he would be if he had not had them.

I wish the psyche docs would listen to partners/families more. I know my partners mood swings inside and can normally anticipate what is coming. However the last appointment he had as an outpatient, the doc wouldn't make any decisions on meds before listening to my side of the story.

This frustrates me so much...haven't I got enough to do at home without shouting and persuading the docs i am a valuable part in the jigsaw in helping my partner??
thanks all for responses- i do get a bit glum at times and yes i know organisations have to represenet every one but I will stand by feeling like the neglected minority- too many others dont even have a computer let alone access to the internet and have to deal with a partner , parent or child with a mental illness very much isolated from society - you dont get many invitges to parties when your caree has been taken away by police in the midst of them and poeple are too scared to visit you for fear of he might be having a bad turn
- yes i dont appreciat how it is for every one - I cant possibly but i can try but the general public have far more sympathy for physical carers than mental health carers it seems- no loud noises about care standards just money - it will not save the life of my caree when high or depresseed but good care will....yes it might keep us a bit warmer and for others ti might make a real difference and yes it needs addressing but so should care be better- the statistics show that those of us caring for someone with severe illness not just mild depression but full blown highs requiring police and the terrible lows etc are in the minority so should we shut up or keep reminding people we are here??????? I know it seems like moanin on but this is astressfull time as this year has been one long hell due to poor care and I am feeling a bit despondant. I am not stupid but the way things are set up the system is that if you have a bad illness you have to leave them to it and let the professionals 'look after them' - which means live in dirty flat, no contact, no social suport and suffering side effects on your own until teh next section - or i try to do what i can . Bipolar is a terrible terrible illness...........serioulsy must not be so negative from now one and happy to chat over with anyoen else trying to mange this in the community - and hoping the next year we might be hospital /section free for once! Image

Re:

does being difficult mean that we want the best for the people we care for, or is it that we are tired of being told that we dont understand by people who go home at five, dont do weekends and have never lived with the emotional rolla costa of emotions that come with caring fosomeone with mental health problems. If so then i shall carry on being difficult Image .take care everyone and keep on being difficult.
Exactly. I care for my wife. When it all goes down, I am there at 8pm on a Saturday when everyone else is gone.

Isn't it a shame mental illness doesn't stop at 5pm.