Attempted Suicide Aftercare

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
Hello, I’m new here so not 100% sure how it all works but here goes. A couple of weeks ago I got home from work to find my wife in bed with our son next to her. She had taken a large overdose, drank a lot, and left a suicide note next to the bed. Paramedics came and took her to the hospital (3am) and sent her home the following afternoon. She took enough to kill most people, apparently they don’t know how she survived. About a week later I had to go away for two nights for work and whilst I was away her parents came and took her away, I shouldn’t have gone, I know that now, but my head wasn’t in the right place. They’re coming home this weekend but I don’t know what to do. How do I support her when I still have to work? How do I make time to keep my own mental health right? If I go out for a run I’m accused of doing it to avoid spending time with her/putting myself ahead of her and the kids. Same with going to work or doing the shopping. I can’t afford to take time off to look after her and the depression has been on and off for 10 years now so there is no clue as to when it will improve. Sorry I’ve rambled, thoughts are fairly unstructured at the moment.
Hi Ben ... welcome to the forum.

In the de-stressing circumstances so outlined , my immediate thought is MIND :

https://www.mind.org.uk/

In this field , they are the acknowledged experts.

Several ways to contact them ... including an " Urgent help " facility ... yellow rectangle near to the top of the opening page.

If anyone out there that can provide assistance / guidance , it will be MIND in the first instance.
You don't state your son's age.

When you speak to Mind UK (I hope that you do) have a discussion about him.

It must be very worrying for son if he understands or not what is happening. Do take action because it could become a safe guarding issue.

If you have or do feel concerned for the future in anyway please contact your local Social Services.
Very good point , SD !

Ben's son is part of the equation and his interests must also be addressed.
Thank you for the replies. I’ll have a look at mind today. I am worried about contacting social services, am quite surprised there was no contact from them after her visit to the hospital. My son is 3, he knows mummy is very very sad and keeps giving her hugs to try and make her happy, it breaks my heart.
Hello Ben

I'm really sorry to hear that you and your family have been having such a tough time in the past few weeks.

Our online Forum is a really supportive online community and I'm pleased that you've joined us and have already received some supportive suggestions from other members, including contacting Mind.

I've also had a chat with the safeguarding lead at Carers UK about your post. She emphasised that aongside supporting your wife and son, it is really important that you get support for yourself. If you feel able to speak to someone about how you’re feeling or how to cope, please contact The Samaritans 24/7 for free on 116 123. They also have an email address jo@samaritans.org as it can sometimes be difficult to verbalise what you are feeling or make a call in privacy.

Wishing you well in the coming days

Michael
Ben_1905 wrote:
Fri May 03, 2019 6:38 am
Thank you for the replies. I’ll have a look at mind today. I am worried about contacting social services, am quite surprised there was no contact from them after her visit to the hospital. My son is 3, he knows mummy is very very sad and keeps giving her hugs to try and make her happy, it breaks my heart.
You say your 3 year old son was with your wife. Also mention kids. So do you have other children.

If they are school age I would suggest informing their schools. School are very good at helping family and it will be confidential. Yes, information we be shared with other agencies Social Service etc. I think you might feel some relief sharing with other professionals. You have already made a massive step coming on to the forum. This demonstrates you are very concern and taken responsible action to seek and take advice.
Your wife should be receiving Mental health services, the crisis team should have organised support and follow up, councelling and an emergency number in case of crisis.
Especially as you have a 3 year old.
Nowadays the NHS have a duty to especially prevent suicide attempts and if one has happened, prevent it from happening again.
I would say first step GP and a referral into mental health services for your wife and contact the Mental Health Services PALS, all NHS services have to have a Patient Advice and liason team who should be able to help.
Thank you again for all the excellent advice. I have spoken to mind and once she is back home I will try and edge her towards the services they offer, not sure how that'll go but its worth a shot. We have 2 children, a son (3) and a daughter (11 months), I think things have got worse as a result of post natal depression which she has managed to hide from doctors and health visitors. They will all be back in the morning so I have made a list of possible ways to make things easier for her to cope. It appears that I don't do enough so she is struggling to cope. I have to work at bed/bath time most days so struggle to be there to help with those times. I think if I do more then it won't be a problem in the future. The mental health teams don't appear to be involved at the moment, or that information could be being held from me. Her anti depression medication is being changed at the moment so perhaps she is being left under the care of the GP? I was unable to go to the hospital at the original admission due to the time and having two young children at home so I missed that assessment, will go to follow up GP appointments.
Thank you again to everyone, its nice to know there is help out there.
Your welcome , Ben.

I hope things pan out better for you and your family.