Background - caring for fiancé with depression/alcohol issues.
Not sure if I'm actually looking for advice here or if I just need a bit of a rant. Managed to set him off (I think) last night by asking if he was okay too much. Does anyone else have this problem? It happens a lot and I keep asking even when I can see it's annoying him, and I wish I could stop but I can't. I've thought about it a lot and I think it's probably due to a combination of my anxiety issues and being so used to him generally suddenly getting angry or upset despite telling me everything's fine which means I'm just hypersensitive to any signs that he might be having a bad patch. (Also think past relationships have contributed to this habit) If that makes sense. And honestly I'm still not sure if anything was actually wrong or if it was just all in my head but it definitely ended up in him getting angry and shutting me out. Got home tonight from my second exam of four (over four days) and he wasn't being angry really, just pretty monosyllabic and disinterested in what I was saying. I asked if he still needed space and he said he was okay/not bothered but when I tried to show him affection he basically didn't want me anywhere near him so I asked him what was wrong and of course it made him angry again. And it's massively thrown me off my studying game last night and tonight (exam number three tomorrow) - am I being selfish by wishing he would just cut me a break this week of all weeks? And how long is it going to last this time? A little frustrated just now since there's really nothing I can do about it until he calms down, whenever that may be. Advice appreciated, mostly just needed to offload.
Not sure if I'm actually looking for advice here or if I just need a bit of a rant. Managed to set him off (I think) last night by asking if he was okay too much. Does anyone else have this problem? It happens a lot and I keep asking even when I can see it's annoying him, and I wish I could stop but I can't. I've thought about it a lot and I think it's probably due to a combination of my anxiety issues and being so used to him generally suddenly getting angry or upset despite telling me everything's fine which means I'm just hypersensitive to any signs that he might be having a bad patch. (Also think past relationships have contributed to this habit) If that makes sense. And honestly I'm still not sure if anything was actually wrong or if it was just all in my head but it definitely ended up in him getting angry and shutting me out. Got home tonight from my second exam of four (over four days) and he wasn't being angry really, just pretty monosyllabic and disinterested in what I was saying. I asked if he still needed space and he said he was okay/not bothered but when I tried to show him affection he basically didn't want me anywhere near him so I asked him what was wrong and of course it made him angry again. And it's massively thrown me off my studying game last night and tonight (exam number three tomorrow) - am I being selfish by wishing he would just cut me a break this week of all weeks? And how long is it going to last this time? A little frustrated just now since there's really nothing I can do about it until he calms down, whenever that may be. Advice appreciated, mostly just needed to offload.