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Any mental health carers out there (non-Alzheimers etc)? - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Any mental health carers out there (non-Alzheimers etc)?

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.

Your not alone i care for my partner who has a health related anxiety disorder ( somotization disorder) plus he may have adult adhd awaiting further tests to confirm

Hello All,

I care for my husband who has bipolar disorder with a few complications! Our family has had a bit of a tough time, but we manage. I look around at other carer's who are looking after loved ones with demanding physical needs and quite often I feel a fraud, and I struggle to come to terms with my title 'carer'.

When I see what lengths I have had to go to in order to get the help needed I realise I am indeed a carer, it is just different.

Mental health problems in society are still looked upon as being 'selfish', and that the person suffering should 'just get a grip and snap out of it'. I know, because many years ago when I was in my nurse training and had a placement in the psychiatric wing I can remember thinking 'these people are a waste of space!'. Well I've had my hand well and truly slapped, and deservedly so. I'ts a hard area of health to come to terms with, because the body of the person is intact, but what you see is someone totally different. I remember looking at the face of John Suchet the newsreader, and his wife Bonnie...she had some form of dementia, I don't know what catagory, and the saddest thing was looking at his eyes, the despair was evident, here was his wife the person he loved and shared his life with, physically intact but gone all at the same time. Not just confusing for the sufferer but for every member of the family.

Carer's we are, and I think we are all awesome, each and every individual who gives there care no matter what the situation.

I feel better for that. Love to all on this site and keep up the good work.

Treez xx Image

My partner is on bi-polar medication but doctors haven't officially diagnosed her with it. She's also had a pretty crappy childhood which means she can't handle her emotions, anger in particular, very well.

Don't know about you, but the hardest thing for me was unlearning a lot of the social rules that can't/don't work with this kind of illness.
Hello xmakina,

There are no rules, you just have to look beyond what the sufferer is doing and accept the illness, and know that it's not you that makes them this way. You do need a break from it, but sometimes you get caught up in the isolation of the stigma of mental unwellness and this means quite often the carer loses their own sense of self, and, as any carer will tell you, this can mean you can't function without your role as carer.

When the role goes, your lost. You are young and I hope this means you have friends and family around you to help you. This is the single most important thing that will help you cope. If you are lacking in emotional support then this forum lets you vent, and I have found the words of kindness from forum members very touching and helpful.

As for your partners diagnosis not being 100% catagorised, I suppose because there is so much more being looked at in mental health that the 'professionals' are unearthing more and more sub divisions. Everyone's bi polar is unique to the individual, and depending on the level of support they have can determine the trajectory of the illness. Though I do realise even with support it can be enormously draining for the sufferer and carer.

I wish you well, and I hope your partner gets all the help she needs. Mental unewellness seems to be on the increase. I think we need to rekindle our sense of community and belonging, and that starts with kindness and understanding. I have found a definate hint of kindess on here. Hope you do too. Image
I care for my mother who has schizophrenia. I have been a carer for 11 years and also try care for my brother who has learning difficulties, its been a tough journey because I am having to do this by myself and my mother has lost contact with relatives. I have no family support either although my sister does try, but she gets stressed very easily and leaves it to me. I have become very thick skinned over the years and often question myself on my role as a carer.

I am lucky to have IT skills, so I work part-time and never have received benefits, which is a shame cause I am slightly hard up. I am interested in carers stories, which is why I came to this forum. Carers are the backbone of the NHS without a doubt, we need to be recognized.
Hi, my partner has bi-polar and we are in the middle of an episode at the moment (section 3). It's a very difficult & stressful time.
Hi Ghost, I wish you well and hope that 'the episode' is short lived and not too disruptive. Take care and sending you lots of cyber strength Image
I am a carer for my wife who has several mental health issues including borderline personality disorder, depression and psychosis.

I have been her full time carer for over 7 years and take responsibility for our 4 kids too.

Life is very difficult, but we try to keep it as normal as possible for the kids sake (ranging from 3 to 11). The older ones are used to it, especially her respite trips but it is very hard at times.

Just recently I have been finding everything very difficult and asked for help at my GP.

I hope this finds you well.

I, myself have bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, and many anxiety issues, I am a parent/carer for my son who is diagnosed as having Combined ADHD, ODD, Learning Difficulties, thought processing problems, severe behavioural problems, we are both medicated.

I find life extremely difficult most days and I feel as though I just exsist.

I fought for ten years to get help for my son - now fourteen - in the end I had to enlist the help of a really good solicitor and only for her my son is in a residential school during the week, if this hadn't of been suggested to me my son would have been educated at home with a tutor for only one hr per day, no school in my county would educate him, no after school club would take him on as he was declared 'a risk', now my son is thriving, he goes to after school clubs everyday, performs in school plays etc and even has a holiday every year, he is still hard work but hopefully his future is brighter than it was three years ago.

Myself, well, I have spent the majority of life involved with Mental Health Teams but in 2008, my MHT decided to discharge me and at the worse time of my life, I fought this and five years later still fighting, I had another brilliant solicitor who was ready and willing to help me fight with me to get my help and support back, then the legal aid law came into force and my hope went out of the window. I then involved my MP, who organised for me to see a different Psychiatrist were I was to have another in depth and detailed assessment, this being the second assessment I would have had in two years. This time I was offered the help the Psychiatrist recommended, a full day, once a week for 30 months of extreme intense Psychological therapy followed up by a further 20 months of a lesser intensive psychological therapy.

Not bad hey for someone who, in the eyes of the MHT, there is nothing wrong.

The thing is, it has been a fight and a very long exhausting soul destroying fight, but at the end of the day, if my help helps me, then I can help my son to have a better future, and these days with this government trying to promote that disability is wrong, we all need all the help we can get.

There is help out there you just have to find and then fight for it. Good luck and best wishes.

Hi there

I am a carer for my husband who has bipolar and also have 2 sons on the autistic spectrum.