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Adult daughter with BPD - intolerable to be with - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Adult daughter with BPD - intolerable to be with

For issues specific to caring for someone with mental ill health.
It’s really hard when your adult children cause so much hurt and upset when you should be leading a more peaceful life thinking your kids are off your hands.

My daughter has LD and is on the autistic spectrum and although she moved out nearly a year ago to live with her boyfriend she still needs loads of support. I am always “on call”. She barely said a word to me over Xmas and New Year yet today I went out with them and she was on great form and she was very chatty with me. I never know what mood I will find her in. Her autism means that she never asks how I am, what I’ve been doing etc so everything is always about her and her boyfriend, who I am pretty certain is also autistic.

I don’t think I can offer much in the way of advice because my daughter doesn’t have BPD (as far as I know) but I wanted you to know that there are lots of us out here whose offspring still need a lot of support and help long after we imagined they would. Xx
Penny wrote:
Mon Jan 03, 2022 8:01 pm
It’s really hard when your adult children cause so much hurt and upset when you should be leading a more peaceful life thinking your kids are off your hands.

My daughter has LD and is on the autistic spectrum and although she moved out nearly a year ago to live with her boyfriend she still needs loads of support. I am always “on call”. She barely said a word to me over Xmas and New Year yet today I went out with them and she was on great form and she was very chatty with me. I never know what mood I will find her in. Her autism means that she never asks how I am, what I’ve been doing etc so everything is always about her and her boyfriend, who I am pretty certain is also autistic.

I don’t think I can offer much in the way of advice because my daughter doesn’t have BPD (as far as I know) but I wanted you to know that there are lots of us out here whose offspring still need a lot of support and help long after we imagined they would. Xx
Thanks so much for your reply, I really feel for you and hope things improve. Sadly we don’t have the good days with our daughter she’s so caught up in the blame game she can’t see past anything. As I said before, her account of the past is so totally different to that of ours or her sisters so it’s like a treadmill to hell all the time! I wish you the best with your daughter and thanks again for sharing x