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Teenage years!!!! - Carers UK Forum

Teenage years!!!!

For issues specific to caring for someone with learning disabilities
Hi
My 13 year old son has LD and ASD but is fully verbal and complete understanding of conversation (hope that makes sense!)
He have become very argumentative (especially with Dad). I feel that he just doesn't understand how to control himself (i know, pretty typical) but he never goes out an has few friend so can't go off with his mates and have a moan or ride his bike until exhusted.
We just feel like we are at war all the time and I am in fear of it snowballing.
Any tips would be great.
Lisax
If he is in school, are there any out of school activities he could attend?

All teenagers are tough on their parents.It is even more hard work with a child with a learning disability. Are you and your husband able to take him out for a walk, or a swim? My son with Downs is 23 now,and still learning all the time. He loves birdwatching, so has binoculars to look out for birds. It used to take a lot of work to keep him occupied, but now it is so much easier. Is he able to use a camera?Perhaps he could be encouraged to take photos outside, which would then allow him to forget how far he was walking?He would be worn out before you knew where you were.

What about riding for the Disabled?My son has been horseriding since he was 7. He loves it, and is really competent, and extremely independent on horseback. It is the on subect where he is so knowledgeable and very impressive to listen to.

My son still has difficulty understanding social skills when in company,and will butt in,but will be quiet if we remind him that it is not his turn to speak. We can do this quietly so that he is not humiliated.

Best of luck. I hope you find something that helps you and your son.
Matts youngest is going through a tough time-- well shes puting us through a tough time,, when she gets in a mega mood-- she hates every one going to live at her mums, we ignore her, she breaks things, screams shouts and eventually she storms off upstairs and falls asleep,, for it to start all over again the next day

with all teenagers its very important NOT TO ATTACK BACK if his arguing with his dad tell dad to stay calm, speak calmly asif its nothing and ignore to the best of ability

And get him in to something,, even if it changes month to month a hobby is great, and if its something u all can enjoy even better
I think, as Pixie says, is to ignore bad behaviour (as best you can) and praise any good behaviour...
I'm sorry if that sounds a bit flippant - it's not supposed to be and it's not always easy to keep your patience/temper under those difficult circumstances. ...
I do hope that you can find something to help you with this situation ...xx
it is ever so hard,, and i often stand in the garden armed with a fag ,,

its not easy-- teenagers r horrible , im hoping against hope amy is like me and just normal,, i had 1 argument with my mum and dad and felt so bad about it after

u can do it
I must be the lucky one, J is usually pretty agreeable company and very rarely throws a tantrum. If he does, its is usually to go into freeze-down mode, simply refusing to do something (like getting out of bed or going to bed at sensible times for example). But he'll help around the house, and is fairly biddable usually.

Got to the point where, a couple of days short of his sixteenth birthday on 14th July, I can proudly leave him in charge of the house whilst I go out to work for a couple of hours as I did this lunchtime, or encourage him to go to town by himself to pick up family groceries (with the bribe that he can buy himself some coca cola). Its about 1000 yards walk there, and the same back, and the road is quite safe.

One thing I do find is that having a mobile when I am out and about helps him keep in touch, but he is not good at charging his own mobile batteries and we need to do some more work on that.

I am looking at not being a carer for ever, and my own strategy is to give J increasing chunks of independence to encourage him to take measured risks and gain in confidence. It seems to be working, and I always get a thrill when I see another young person with Downs out and about on their own business.