Physical and financial abuse

For issues specific to caring for someone with learning disabilities
M's brain damage has left him unable to read, write or do any maths, which makes recipe books a no go area, and other issues mean it's difficult to remember the names of things, even food he loves. He can make cakes using balance scales (weight of eggs in butter, sugar and flour) without supervision, apart from a hand to put it in the cake tins, but obviously that is not a skill to be encouraged just now.
He can prepare any vegetables given to him, but unless staff tell him what to do, he can't do it. We extended our kitchen some years ago, it's the largest room in the cottage, with a big pine table where everyone congregates, so my family are used to me preparing food around them, and know roughly what I do to make any of their favourite food. His kitchen has lots of really good equipment, so that's no barrier either.
I've just come back from a 3 hour meeting with the care providers and a new social worker, and we've agreed that
A senior member of staff will always be on duty on Monday
This person will do a menu plan (using pictures) and staff will work out the shopping list and budget accordingly, so that's a real step forward, assuming they do what they say of course.
Secondly, they want to give up using the debit card, and use cash instead, in a tin they provide which only they will have access to. Apparently any discrepancy of more than £5 will be investigated thoroughly, so I'm happy with that.
I'm less happy about the inflexibility of the social worker around M coming home though, and me getting any direct payments to cover this.
BB. Well done re the menu and budget. The staff will have to be on their toes now. Surely they can shop with cash and keep a receipt!
You seem to be writing with baited breath? I can understand that,though given all you and M have been through. Do you want M to be home more often, and the social worker is being inflexible? Sorry if I sound vague.I have thought about you today suited and with your ' telephone voice ' in flow!
Your kitchen sounds lovely. Family orientated.
When M was in residential care, he came home every third weekend as a rule. We always tried to do something special when he was home, we had a good family weekend and then he went back. No paperwork, other than two simple forms for DLA and CA. In those days I ran a business, and a national club, wrote a club magazine and went to a different rally almost every weekend in the summer - as well as bottling about 300 jars of fruit etc. every year, and a whole lot more besides. Since M left residential care it's been constant aggravation, and my "end goal" is to get back to every third weekend, I usually managed to sqeeze in some "me" time. However, for M to be happy with every third weekend he needs a much more active lifestyle and better food - sometimes I think he's just come home for my cooking!! Now staff are to be given some cookery lessons. Allelujah.
I was very firm about what I needed today, but we managed to have some fun moments as well. The Care Manager who has supported M gave a wonderful description about how hyperactive he was.
That leaves SSD as the major sticking point, still no firm date for his mental capacity assessment, or when his care plan will be finalised, 11 months after they were requested.
Congratulations BB on getting so much agreed. If anyone could it was you :)
I bet 'they' were quaking in their boots just before you arrived. :lol:
Yes. I asked why staff didn't use the communication diary. I was told that it was because they were afraid of me! However, it's a real shame that it's taken seven months and endless complaints before anyone would sit down with me to let me explain the finer points of caring for M.
For example, he will say he is "tired" when what he really means he doesn't know what he wants to do next. We've agreed that there will be a more structured programme where they plan in advance (also agreed months ago!) rather than M saying where he wants to go, because he can't remember the names of the places. They will now plan a few trips to National Trust properties in the run up to Christmas - he has a membership card which also covers staff so this will be a cheap and interesting day out.
They neednt have been afraid of you if they had listened in the first place! The communications book should still have been used regardless.
It's Ms needs and welfare that counts. Poor excuse to me.
The staff don't realise how lucky they are. Chance to go to National Trust places whilst at work and being paid!
Hi BB,
that was a major meeting! I really hope the agreed actions are carried out and make a positive difference for M.

They wouldn't have to be afraid of you, or the communication book, if they were doing things right!!!

BB I am so impressed at how you keep your cool. Xx